Professionalism is something that comes into question a lot of the time with photography. Whilst some people say you can only be a Professional Photographer if you do it full time, some suggest that you cannot even call yourself a professional photographer, because the word professional has certain connotations around its meaning (wiki it, it explains it!). How you act in your manor, is whether or not you are or are not a professional photographer. Nothing else.
Also. Manners do not cost anything, but the big photography debate of “Expensive Vs Cheap” photographers all come down to whether or not the “Cheap” are professional or not.
Surely how much anyone charges for their services as a Wedding Photographer isn’t attributed to their professionalism. Nor are how many professional bodies they are part of. Or…how many years they have been doing it.
I personally have met some rather rude photographers. Some have come to digital from film. Some have come from past generations of being photographers in the family. And some…think that manners don’t matter. Some of these are members of several professional bodies and are Award Winning and some, I feel in my opinion are just plain horrible and nasty people, or at least that’s how they come across!
The money you charge for a Wedding does not mean that you are or are not more professional than the next photographer. Also if you are part time or full time it does not mean you are any more or any less professional than the next person a long.
I do wonder that if the people who put into the arguments that “X photographer is undercutting me and stealing all my business” really need to look if that is the real reason they are getting all their business. And I feel that if the people who put as much energy into dissing said “part time and cheap photographers” as they do - then their business would be a lot better.
And then that is the other thing. Just because you are a part-time photographer generally doesn’t mean you are cheap. And just because you are an expensive photographer doesn’t mean you are full time. You are what you are. You do what you do. You get the business in. As long as your clients are happy. As long as you are getting the business. It doesn’t matter if you are full time. Part time. Half Time. Weekend Warrior, or whatever other terminology you want to call them. If you are insured. If you are earning money. If your clients are happy. AND, and this is a very big and…you are getting by. That’s all that matters.
Manners and being polite, doing your job to the best standard you can do. And people not feeling like they are getting “ripped off” then that’s great. None of that makes you a professional. It’s how you come across in your business.
I run my business full time. I am the sole photographer and chief, cook and bottle washer. I love my job. And I feel I try and have manners with my client and be as professional as I can be whilst still being friendly and keeping my clients happy.
If I was to win the lottery tomorrow…I would probably still do Wedding Photography. I’d probably happily shoot weddings at £500 a time, for a full day and an album, but limit them to 20 or even 10 per year so they were “exclusive” and why? Because I love my job. And I wouldn’t really need the money would I? It doesn’t mean that my professionalism would go down if I was charging less.
On Christmas Eve I am working for free. I ran a competition to “Win Your Wedding Photography” and the couple who won are getting married on Christmas Eve. Just because I am working for free, doesn’t mean my professionalism should be questioned in anyway. Because not only am I cheap for that wedding. I’m entirely free. ENTIRELY. Does that mean I am going to go about the wedding in an entirely unprofessional manner? No.
So the people who argue that “cheap is stealing my business” and “cheap is unprofessional” it really isn’t. Because we are all here to do a job. And the only people that matters are our clients.
Monday 3 October 2011
Friday 30 September 2011
{Girl Behind The Lens} 3-Years On, and I still cry...
This blog has been on my mind all day. I’ve come home from being with James and taking him to work (stupid night shifts) grabbed my laptop and rushed upstairs. I didn’t want to wait until it was too late to write this blog, nor did I want to write it in the company of my mum.
You see, I’m not sure I can get to the end of this blog post without any tears falling from my eyes. Or if I do it will be with a very big lump in my throat. And the reason for this? Its 3-years on Sunday (2nd October 2011) since my Nan passed away.
My Nan was fabulous. I never just said that after she died, I said that a hell of a lot before. I was born just after the miners strike of ‘84, money was tight, dad was not bringing any money in, and Mum spent a lot of time there when she was pregnant. And they had a good relationship. Nan played a heavy part in my life from being born. Granddad is disabled so we spent a lot of time there, and went on holiday as a unit of 5. Nan, Granddad, Mum, Dad and I.
When I was about 3, my nan had a deep vein thrombosis due to smoking that wasn’t apparently caught in time by her GP at the time. This resulted in her having her leg amputated and being confined to a wheelchair even though she had a prosthetic leg. I remember her being in the hospital. I remember the nurses giving me one of those paper hats they used to wear. I remember asking if they had put her leg in a black bin liner for the dustbin men (how was I meant to know what they did with it). I remember the district nurse visiting her at home, and watching and looking and telling my Nan how her wound was healing. (I was obviously not bothered at all by gore when I was younger!).
Through the years, the Wheelchair didn’t stop Nan, she would go places. Get a taxi, ask mum to take her. We all complained when people talked to her like she was stupid. She lost her leg, not her marbles. She was tenacious. She said what she thought, and if she thought you were wrong she’d tell you. And people wonder where I get it from.
My Nan taught me that life makes you a fighter. That sometimes its ok to feel a bit shit, like you think you life is going no-where. But you just need to dust yourself off and get on with it. My nan was a glass half full person.
I remember when Nan got diagnosed with Breast Cancer. Due to her weak heart, the medication she was on for her terrible arthritis they couldn’t operate. They treated it with hormones. And it shrunk it. It was manageable. But it wasn’t gone.
She was in an out of hospital, but the last time she was admitted to the hospital, we didn’t think that she would never come out. Somehow, somewhere along the line I feel cheated. Cheated that she didn’t get to see the things that she should have. Cheated that she should have seen me set up in photography and doing so well. Cheated that any kids I may have will never know her….but I’ll make sure I tell them all about her.
We went on holiday, before it she wished me happy birthday and wanted to know what I was getting etc and to have a good time. We went away for a week. Upon our return and my mums birthday some 2 weeks after mine, she wasn’t co-coherent.
The Doctors took us to onside, told us they had found a mass on her bowel, that it was more than likely Diverticulitis, it can happen when you get older. They were transferring her to the rehabilitation centre. That centre was known with the generation above her, as the place that they sent you to die. Her mum had died there. And it would seem that so would she.
We had meetings with the doctors about her rehabilitation, about when they would be moving her from a singular room to a 4-room and starting her on exercises to start her getting better. But it didn’t happen.
Mum and I were meant to be going for a weekend away to Scotland. Dad was going to Blackpool. Mum did the afternoon visit to the hospital on the Friday, and I did the Evening. I pulled a nurse to one side and asked how my Nan was because I was shocked by her deterioration from the day before (Mum had said she was fine) nothing ever prepares you for the shock, and the anger, and upset. When you find out that you have been lied to. The Nurse told me that they had argued she was too ill to move when they had moved her. She had bowel cancer. There was nothing they could do.
I remember her telling me, and not crying. I remember walking through the hospital with a lump in my throat but refusing to cry. I got into the car and broke down. Did Mum know? What if she didn’t know? How was I going to tell her that her mum was going to die. I had to tell her. I did. And then we had to tell my Granddad.
I remember the things that happened from then on it. The MacMillan Nurses, the stupid conversations we had with her about Ainsley Harriot being a white man (seriously, his roots are from white-British) to the town hall being lit up pink for breast cancer awareness month.
She was stubborn my Nan, she would do things her way or not at all. I remember once her refusing to go into one of the other nursing homes because she didn’t know anyone in there. They either sent her to the one she wanted to go to, or sent her home. Oh she got her own way she did!
She went on an End of Life Care plan. The same day I called the Funeral Director and asked what happened when she died. The nurses kept a very good eye on her. And called us at the slightest change. We rang around everyone and got people to come visit. I remember seeing my mums cousin, in her prison gear, standing there completely heartbroken. My nan held a lot of people together and touched a lot of hearts, she was a strong willed woman. God only knows!
Its been 3-years since she went, and it just feels like yesterday. My heart aches everyday, and I wish I could speak to her. I wish she could tell me what I’m doing. I wish she was here to support me. I just wish she hadn’t gone.
I would have loved her to have met James. I know she would have liked him. I know she’d be proud of what I’ve done. That we’re moving in together. That the business is doing so well that Her and Granddad supported my dreams of doing (photography as second shooter) I set up on my own one-year after she had died. The business will be two soon.
My nan had such a influence on me. She was like a mum to me. (I was closer to her than Mum, I could tell my Nan anything, where as I cant with mum, and she knows this) Loosing Nan didn’t really bring Mum and I closer, at one point it pushed us further and further apart.
I have a tattoo on my wrist that says “Everything Happens For A Reason” but I’m still searching for the reason my Nan was taken from me.
I do however know that her stubbornness, her awkwardness, her friendliness and her tenacious attitude are all attributes that I got from her.
She was an amazing woman. I just wish she was still here.
3-Years ago she went away….and time doesn’t make it any easier.
And if you are wondering. I didn’t make it to the end without any tears….
You see, I’m not sure I can get to the end of this blog post without any tears falling from my eyes. Or if I do it will be with a very big lump in my throat. And the reason for this? Its 3-years on Sunday (2nd October 2011) since my Nan passed away.
My Nan was fabulous. I never just said that after she died, I said that a hell of a lot before. I was born just after the miners strike of ‘84, money was tight, dad was not bringing any money in, and Mum spent a lot of time there when she was pregnant. And they had a good relationship. Nan played a heavy part in my life from being born. Granddad is disabled so we spent a lot of time there, and went on holiday as a unit of 5. Nan, Granddad, Mum, Dad and I.
When I was about 3, my nan had a deep vein thrombosis due to smoking that wasn’t apparently caught in time by her GP at the time. This resulted in her having her leg amputated and being confined to a wheelchair even though she had a prosthetic leg. I remember her being in the hospital. I remember the nurses giving me one of those paper hats they used to wear. I remember asking if they had put her leg in a black bin liner for the dustbin men (how was I meant to know what they did with it). I remember the district nurse visiting her at home, and watching and looking and telling my Nan how her wound was healing. (I was obviously not bothered at all by gore when I was younger!).
Through the years, the Wheelchair didn’t stop Nan, she would go places. Get a taxi, ask mum to take her. We all complained when people talked to her like she was stupid. She lost her leg, not her marbles. She was tenacious. She said what she thought, and if she thought you were wrong she’d tell you. And people wonder where I get it from.
My Nan taught me that life makes you a fighter. That sometimes its ok to feel a bit shit, like you think you life is going no-where. But you just need to dust yourself off and get on with it. My nan was a glass half full person.
I remember when Nan got diagnosed with Breast Cancer. Due to her weak heart, the medication she was on for her terrible arthritis they couldn’t operate. They treated it with hormones. And it shrunk it. It was manageable. But it wasn’t gone.
She was in an out of hospital, but the last time she was admitted to the hospital, we didn’t think that she would never come out. Somehow, somewhere along the line I feel cheated. Cheated that she didn’t get to see the things that she should have. Cheated that she should have seen me set up in photography and doing so well. Cheated that any kids I may have will never know her….but I’ll make sure I tell them all about her.
We went on holiday, before it she wished me happy birthday and wanted to know what I was getting etc and to have a good time. We went away for a week. Upon our return and my mums birthday some 2 weeks after mine, she wasn’t co-coherent.
The Doctors took us to onside, told us they had found a mass on her bowel, that it was more than likely Diverticulitis, it can happen when you get older. They were transferring her to the rehabilitation centre. That centre was known with the generation above her, as the place that they sent you to die. Her mum had died there. And it would seem that so would she.
We had meetings with the doctors about her rehabilitation, about when they would be moving her from a singular room to a 4-room and starting her on exercises to start her getting better. But it didn’t happen.
Mum and I were meant to be going for a weekend away to Scotland. Dad was going to Blackpool. Mum did the afternoon visit to the hospital on the Friday, and I did the Evening. I pulled a nurse to one side and asked how my Nan was because I was shocked by her deterioration from the day before (Mum had said she was fine) nothing ever prepares you for the shock, and the anger, and upset. When you find out that you have been lied to. The Nurse told me that they had argued she was too ill to move when they had moved her. She had bowel cancer. There was nothing they could do.
I remember her telling me, and not crying. I remember walking through the hospital with a lump in my throat but refusing to cry. I got into the car and broke down. Did Mum know? What if she didn’t know? How was I going to tell her that her mum was going to die. I had to tell her. I did. And then we had to tell my Granddad.
I remember the things that happened from then on it. The MacMillan Nurses, the stupid conversations we had with her about Ainsley Harriot being a white man (seriously, his roots are from white-British) to the town hall being lit up pink for breast cancer awareness month.
She was stubborn my Nan, she would do things her way or not at all. I remember once her refusing to go into one of the other nursing homes because she didn’t know anyone in there. They either sent her to the one she wanted to go to, or sent her home. Oh she got her own way she did!
She went on an End of Life Care plan. The same day I called the Funeral Director and asked what happened when she died. The nurses kept a very good eye on her. And called us at the slightest change. We rang around everyone and got people to come visit. I remember seeing my mums cousin, in her prison gear, standing there completely heartbroken. My nan held a lot of people together and touched a lot of hearts, she was a strong willed woman. God only knows!
Its been 3-years since she went, and it just feels like yesterday. My heart aches everyday, and I wish I could speak to her. I wish she could tell me what I’m doing. I wish she was here to support me. I just wish she hadn’t gone.
I would have loved her to have met James. I know she would have liked him. I know she’d be proud of what I’ve done. That we’re moving in together. That the business is doing so well that Her and Granddad supported my dreams of doing (photography as second shooter) I set up on my own one-year after she had died. The business will be two soon.
My nan had such a influence on me. She was like a mum to me. (I was closer to her than Mum, I could tell my Nan anything, where as I cant with mum, and she knows this) Loosing Nan didn’t really bring Mum and I closer, at one point it pushed us further and further apart.
I have a tattoo on my wrist that says “Everything Happens For A Reason” but I’m still searching for the reason my Nan was taken from me.
I do however know that her stubbornness, her awkwardness, her friendliness and her tenacious attitude are all attributes that I got from her.
She was an amazing woman. I just wish she was still here.
3-Years ago she went away….and time doesn’t make it any easier.
And if you are wondering. I didn’t make it to the end without any tears….
Thursday 29 September 2011
{Girl Behind The Lens Blog} The Baby Boom
It would seem that somewhere along the line it feels like 2011 is a Baby Boom year, not as much as say 1983/4 but somewhere along the lines.
I was discussing this last night with my Pregnant-And-9-Days-To-Go Friend, and I pointed out about there being a recession, people not having much money and staying in and creating their own fun. Whether planned or not.
Then she pointed one thing out that I hadn’t thought about. The Weather.
Earlier this year, most of the country had the Big Freeze. And Freeze it was. Stupid amounts of snow. People stranded. And 9months later, a lot of people are expecting babies. My Pregnant-And-9-Days-To-Go Friend assures me that her impending baby isn’t due to The Big Freeze, but just after it.
Then conversation, as with most people turn around to “when is it your turn” however, the people that generally do not ask this are the people who know about the Endometriosis, and the apparent affect it can have on fertility. Both my Pregnant-And-9-Days-To-Go Friend and a few of my other close friends all know what its like trying to conceive when you are faced with barriers, such as Endometriosis, PCOS and Low Sperm Count. And sometimes….the entire THREE of them hit upon the same person.
I remember growing up and being “I want my own house, to be married and have babies by the time I’m 25” it wasn’t a plan. It wasn’t a dream. It was a given. My mum married at 21 and had me 2 weeks before her 25th birthday. Surely that’s how it should be? Apparently not.
21 came and went with a boyfriend that I loved. By 22 I was single pretty much sworn off men forever. I dated. I had casual relationships and now I am with James. We are moving in together and are happy and in love. We have discussed our want of 2-Children (I’m an only child and hated it! If you are not an only child you do not realise how lonely it is). However then comes the subject of timing.
There are things to consider. I for one when setting up the business didn’t realise how little time I would have. If planned correctly and at a time I am ready, I could work a baby around the jobs that I do. But not for next year. Next year to me is too early to even think about having a baby.
We know (or at least I know) that people are going to start asking about Babies and Weddings as soon as we are living together. I am happy in the commitment that James is giving to me by us moving in together and I am in no rush to move on for babies.
With currently as I write this 26 Weddings booked in for next year, I don’t have the time, to make babies let alone have them! (Or as I’ve said before “pop them out”).
As I’ve got older my need to have a child, RIGHT NOW is not as strong as it used to be. I do want a child, that’s not something I will give up on wanting. But if someone said right this minute, I’d panic. Like HELL.
The other problem I have is the issue with the Endometriosis, and the issues that it can have on the conceiving. And the stress and pressure given by the Consultant about having a baby before they can really give anymore treatment. I mean seriously. I need to bring a life into this world, before I am ready to make myself better? If that’s professional advice I’m not sure what is.
It will happen when I’m ready. Its just hard to look at life and the people surrounding you that are all having babies and wonder…”why aren’t I there yet” then I look around at my business and the not very tidy office that surrounds me and I think. It’s because I’m too busy!
It will happen when we are ready. Whether that’s in 5-years or 15-years (latter is exaggerating!) so please don’t ask me when I plan to add my baby into the mix....
I was discussing this last night with my Pregnant-And-9-Days-To-Go Friend, and I pointed out about there being a recession, people not having much money and staying in and creating their own fun. Whether planned or not.
Then she pointed one thing out that I hadn’t thought about. The Weather.
Earlier this year, most of the country had the Big Freeze. And Freeze it was. Stupid amounts of snow. People stranded. And 9months later, a lot of people are expecting babies. My Pregnant-And-9-Days-To-Go Friend assures me that her impending baby isn’t due to The Big Freeze, but just after it.
Then conversation, as with most people turn around to “when is it your turn” however, the people that generally do not ask this are the people who know about the Endometriosis, and the apparent affect it can have on fertility. Both my Pregnant-And-9-Days-To-Go Friend and a few of my other close friends all know what its like trying to conceive when you are faced with barriers, such as Endometriosis, PCOS and Low Sperm Count. And sometimes….the entire THREE of them hit upon the same person.
I remember growing up and being “I want my own house, to be married and have babies by the time I’m 25” it wasn’t a plan. It wasn’t a dream. It was a given. My mum married at 21 and had me 2 weeks before her 25th birthday. Surely that’s how it should be? Apparently not.
21 came and went with a boyfriend that I loved. By 22 I was single pretty much sworn off men forever. I dated. I had casual relationships and now I am with James. We are moving in together and are happy and in love. We have discussed our want of 2-Children (I’m an only child and hated it! If you are not an only child you do not realise how lonely it is). However then comes the subject of timing.
There are things to consider. I for one when setting up the business didn’t realise how little time I would have. If planned correctly and at a time I am ready, I could work a baby around the jobs that I do. But not for next year. Next year to me is too early to even think about having a baby.
We know (or at least I know) that people are going to start asking about Babies and Weddings as soon as we are living together. I am happy in the commitment that James is giving to me by us moving in together and I am in no rush to move on for babies.
With currently as I write this 26 Weddings booked in for next year, I don’t have the time, to make babies let alone have them! (Or as I’ve said before “pop them out”).
As I’ve got older my need to have a child, RIGHT NOW is not as strong as it used to be. I do want a child, that’s not something I will give up on wanting. But if someone said right this minute, I’d panic. Like HELL.
The other problem I have is the issue with the Endometriosis, and the issues that it can have on the conceiving. And the stress and pressure given by the Consultant about having a baby before they can really give anymore treatment. I mean seriously. I need to bring a life into this world, before I am ready to make myself better? If that’s professional advice I’m not sure what is.
It will happen when I’m ready. Its just hard to look at life and the people surrounding you that are all having babies and wonder…”why aren’t I there yet” then I look around at my business and the not very tidy office that surrounds me and I think. It’s because I’m too busy!
It will happen when we are ready. Whether that’s in 5-years or 15-years (latter is exaggerating!) so please don’t ask me when I plan to add my baby into the mix....
Sunday 18 September 2011
{Girl Behind The Lens} Where have my friends gone?
No-one tells you how lovely being Self Employed can become. The times that you are working so many hours a day not finishing work until late, running around doing everything and trying to keep everyone happy. And who else is there to hold your hand? No-one.
Yes we all have supportive family and friends, but who really knows what its like? I’ve spoken to so many people on twitter and face book but nothing is REAL.
So many people who have sat and said “we’ll get together, you’ll have more time” when in fact I don’t. Some friends understand this, don’t get annoyed when I don’t see them for 4 weeks but they manage to steal an hour with me every now and again. Some I wont see for months but will email me religiously every day. But then there are the friends. The ones you used to see weekly. Used to text and call all the time, and suddenly you don’t have time for them anymore, and its your fault. When in fact they don’t even bother to get in touch with you.
Its that time that friends become clients and clients become friends and I love it. I just have no clear definition anymore.
I used to have a best friend (I used to have a couple) people I could run and tell everything to. And now? I have “good friends” I don’t know if its my age (i'm getting old now i'm 27) or the fact that people just grow up and move on. Grow apart and then you can suddenly just count your close friends on one hand.
Theres people I miss. I miss a lot. Mainly due to difference of opinions, or them not realising that running a business is hard. It takes a lot of time. And we don’t have the free time we used to have.
When I used to work a 9-5 (seriously how many jobs are even 9-5 anymore?) I used to have extra disposable income, I used to spend evenings with friends, I used to try and do things on a weekend. But my friends were single. I was single, they had no kids. We all have to grow change and adapt.
I look at the way I use social media. Im so sociable with my clients. And try and be with friends. They’re all on face book, twitter, blog etc. And yet I’m reduced to finding out abut their lives through this media, because I hardly see them. I miss them. I don’t hardly have any phone contact with them.
Its sad. Sad because whilst my life is going in one direction. I’m moving in with my boyfriend. I’m happy. The business is growing. Friends are getting married, having babies and suddenly everyone has different priorities and experiences. And I feel that Im missing out on A LOT. I try and make time but our calenders never are right.
The reasons I’m so lovely, are through several reasons if I listen to some not-so-close friends.
1. The Boyfriend.
Having a boyfriend instantly means inaccessible to my friends. It means that they don’t get in touch with me as much anymore as they instantly think that I’ll be too busy seeing the boyfriend. In fact I see James 2-3 hours (sometimes less) per night. I get to his. I wake him up. I cook tea. We watch TV. He showers, makes his lunch and I take him to work. He works nights. Permenantly. I don’t get to see him any other time and when I am doing Full Day Weddings, it also means I don’t get to see him. AT ALL. As he doesn’t drive, if I don’t see him and he has to catch the bus to work, he has a quick bus, that runs on the hour and takes 20 minutes, and he has the slow bus that takes 45minutes to get him to work and comes at half past. If he is working at 10pm, he has to be on the 9pm bus.
2. I know how busy you are.
I love this excuse “but I know how busy you are so that is why I don’t email/text/call” I mean seriously. Im not that busy not to answer a message. Or reply to an email. Or ring you back. I have some people (work related) that call me 3-4 times a DAY and I always answer their calls. If I don’t get I will leave a message and try and call again. If you don’t try and call me. How the HELL am I even meant to speak with you?
3. But I put it on face book!
This is another one of my favourite things. Especially when I find out something that I didn’t know. And they reply “but I put it on face book” or alternatively “did you not see it on face book” or “but you’re always on face book I thought you had seen it” Facebook, like now, is on in the background of my computer whilst I write this. I do not have any sound on the computer, as I very rarely do, and I am not looking. I have about 1500+ “friends” on face book I use it a lot for business. I don’t see every status that someone puts. If its that important, tell me in person. If you want me to know, ring me. Text me. Email me!
I mean I know its not just their fault. Ive stopped trying with people who’ve made no effort to maintain and build a relationship with me. Simple things like a text once a month, an email or even writing on my face book wall.
James has a close set of friends that he’s had throughout his life. I hardly do.
My set of friends are as follows:
Amy, Leonie, Lianne, Ryan and Tracey. Those are my close friends. And Ryan is the only one I see with any regularity. And Leonie I've known from School, but only got friends with her properly in College. Around the same time I met Tracey and Ryan. Then Amy came next then Lianne.
Yes we all have supportive family and friends, but who really knows what its like? I’ve spoken to so many people on twitter and face book but nothing is REAL.
So many people who have sat and said “we’ll get together, you’ll have more time” when in fact I don’t. Some friends understand this, don’t get annoyed when I don’t see them for 4 weeks but they manage to steal an hour with me every now and again. Some I wont see for months but will email me religiously every day. But then there are the friends. The ones you used to see weekly. Used to text and call all the time, and suddenly you don’t have time for them anymore, and its your fault. When in fact they don’t even bother to get in touch with you.
Its that time that friends become clients and clients become friends and I love it. I just have no clear definition anymore.
I used to have a best friend (I used to have a couple) people I could run and tell everything to. And now? I have “good friends” I don’t know if its my age (i'm getting old now i'm 27) or the fact that people just grow up and move on. Grow apart and then you can suddenly just count your close friends on one hand.
Theres people I miss. I miss a lot. Mainly due to difference of opinions, or them not realising that running a business is hard. It takes a lot of time. And we don’t have the free time we used to have.
When I used to work a 9-5 (seriously how many jobs are even 9-5 anymore?) I used to have extra disposable income, I used to spend evenings with friends, I used to try and do things on a weekend. But my friends were single. I was single, they had no kids. We all have to grow change and adapt.
I look at the way I use social media. Im so sociable with my clients. And try and be with friends. They’re all on face book, twitter, blog etc. And yet I’m reduced to finding out abut their lives through this media, because I hardly see them. I miss them. I don’t hardly have any phone contact with them.
Its sad. Sad because whilst my life is going in one direction. I’m moving in with my boyfriend. I’m happy. The business is growing. Friends are getting married, having babies and suddenly everyone has different priorities and experiences. And I feel that Im missing out on A LOT. I try and make time but our calenders never are right.
The reasons I’m so lovely, are through several reasons if I listen to some not-so-close friends.
1. The Boyfriend.
Having a boyfriend instantly means inaccessible to my friends. It means that they don’t get in touch with me as much anymore as they instantly think that I’ll be too busy seeing the boyfriend. In fact I see James 2-3 hours (sometimes less) per night. I get to his. I wake him up. I cook tea. We watch TV. He showers, makes his lunch and I take him to work. He works nights. Permenantly. I don’t get to see him any other time and when I am doing Full Day Weddings, it also means I don’t get to see him. AT ALL. As he doesn’t drive, if I don’t see him and he has to catch the bus to work, he has a quick bus, that runs on the hour and takes 20 minutes, and he has the slow bus that takes 45minutes to get him to work and comes at half past. If he is working at 10pm, he has to be on the 9pm bus.
2. I know how busy you are.
I love this excuse “but I know how busy you are so that is why I don’t email/text/call” I mean seriously. Im not that busy not to answer a message. Or reply to an email. Or ring you back. I have some people (work related) that call me 3-4 times a DAY and I always answer their calls. If I don’t get I will leave a message and try and call again. If you don’t try and call me. How the HELL am I even meant to speak with you?
3. But I put it on face book!
This is another one of my favourite things. Especially when I find out something that I didn’t know. And they reply “but I put it on face book” or alternatively “did you not see it on face book” or “but you’re always on face book I thought you had seen it” Facebook, like now, is on in the background of my computer whilst I write this. I do not have any sound on the computer, as I very rarely do, and I am not looking. I have about 1500+ “friends” on face book I use it a lot for business. I don’t see every status that someone puts. If its that important, tell me in person. If you want me to know, ring me. Text me. Email me!
I mean I know its not just their fault. Ive stopped trying with people who’ve made no effort to maintain and build a relationship with me. Simple things like a text once a month, an email or even writing on my face book wall.
Someone once told me that I had become a lot more ruthless since running a business. Its not that at all I just wont take as much crap as I used to do. I refuse to be walked over. Whether its expressing an opinion or removing friends from my life. (Wouldn’t it be easy if we could delete people in life like we do on face book) The friends that were all take take take ive removed from my life. I got sick of dropping everything for them. Because I did. I am, was, very much a friend orientated person….however I learnt what people can be like, that some people are selfish, and some people just want you for what you do, or who you know, and nothing other than that.
James has a close set of friends that he’s had throughout his life. I hardly do.
My set of friends are as follows:
Amy, Leonie, Lianne, Ryan and Tracey. Those are my close friends. And Ryan is the only one I see with any regularity. And Leonie I've known from School, but only got friends with her properly in College. Around the same time I met Tracey and Ryan. Then Amy came next then Lianne.
It then leads to Michelle, Catriona, Laura, Kellie, Paul… The other closer friends whom I speak with regularly, but not regular enough. Most don’t live local at all.
And then the rest of friends, which are clients that have turned into friends, or friends which have turned into clients. And people from Photography. Which I can name Hannah, Dawn and Maria who I now class as friends rather than just photography friends.
Its just hard. Soon I’m going to be running a business. Running a house. Keeping my relationship strong with James as dynamics are going to change and then try and keep friendships going.
And its so lonely…where have my friends gone?
Monday 12 September 2011
{Girl Behind The Lens} Please Like Me!
After seeing a blog post about how I use social media from Keith Evans of In Smart Company, and then seeing someone asking someone to like their page (face book reference for those who are not social media literate, but then if your not how are you even reading this haha) I decided to write this post.
Facebook, is there, to be used. To be sociable and to get people to like the work that you do. I may know you, I may know your company, but if I do not like the work, it has no relevance to me, or I don’t simply like it. I will not actually face book-like it.
Harsh I know. Take for instance my friend Joe, from KJ Photography props. She set up her page. I liked it. Because I am supporting her. She posted on her personal profile, used twitter and blog and now has her own esty shop. The more other photographers who networked saw her work and liked her the more it got people to buy her work etc. That is using social media to be good. To do well…and to grow your business. You will grow your business and get more clients by getting people who want your services.
What this is about are photographers who ask other photographers to like their page. That isn’t going to get you business. I like pages of photographers work I admire. Who I know personally (and well) and who are my competition. I generally, do not like other photographers pages, nor will I like if they ask me to. (or anyone else for that matter).
Photographers out there who keep asking people to like your page. Posting it in forums that are just for photographers and on face book groups just for photographers. You will not gain exposure to clients by doing this. You will not grow your business by doing this!
Do offers. Give referrals. Be Sociable!! Its called Social Media for a reason! I have a business card that just has my social media contacts on it. Its separate to my business card but I give them both together. Put them on the same one. Naturally and Organically grow your business.
If you are doing portraits, look on face book and the groups for “items wanted for sale in….” groups and post your work in there. Granted you may think that some of the clients in there are beneath you, but if you are growing a business pull the finger out and go searching for it! You have to make face book work for you and 50 other photographers liking your page isn’t going to do that!
Don’t be scared to run competitions (not by comments or likes though its against face book rules) don’t be scared to ask questions, get people interacting…just if you are a photographer remember who is your client base…its not photographers.
Yes I understand the need to get to so many “likes” so that you can reserve your name as I have. But…please be careful how to do this its better to get potential clients to see your work who will go “Ahhh have you seen xxxx-photographers work” rather than a bunch of photographers who wont tell anyone.
And if you want to read the blog post Keith wrote you can read it here...
Alternatively you too can like me on facebook
Monday 5 September 2011
{Girl Behind The Lens} Did you think you'd be running your business before you were 30?
Today is my birthday, I’m 27.
It seems strange that one of the questions I got asked when I started the {Girl Behind the Lens} blog was “Did you think you’d be running your own business before you were 30”.
I can safely say I didn’t think I would be running my own business. Ever.
It is not something that I aspired to be, to become my own boss, to look at possibly employing people. I thought by the time I was 30 (when I was a child it was 25 because that was “old”) that I would be married, in my own house, and have babies (yes more than one!).
I’m 27. Been running Blue Lights Photography, my own company, being my own boss, for 2-years in October.
It has been the most stressful, nerve-wracking and emotional time of my life.
It has also been the best, most rewarding and exciting time too.
I “fell” into photography, I took the opportunities that were presented to me and I moved forward with it. I imagined that I would end up being a manager of a retail-jewellery store, or into business training for a company that trained new employees for their own companies. I never thought that I would be where I am today.
I don’t brag about business, I don’t brag about how well business is doing, unless I am trying to express the importance of people making a booking decision. A lot of that is because I know how I got into photography, and how I became a business owner. It wasn’t something that I had dreamt about doing since I was a child. And it certainly wasn’t something I expected to be doing before I was 30! (Or EVER!)
And I think it makes me realise what I have (and what could be taken away)…
It seems strange that one of the questions I got asked when I started the {Girl Behind the Lens} blog was “Did you think you’d be running your own business before you were 30”.
I can safely say I didn’t think I would be running my own business. Ever.
It is not something that I aspired to be, to become my own boss, to look at possibly employing people. I thought by the time I was 30 (when I was a child it was 25 because that was “old”) that I would be married, in my own house, and have babies (yes more than one!).
I’m 27. Been running Blue Lights Photography, my own company, being my own boss, for 2-years in October.
It has been the most stressful, nerve-wracking and emotional time of my life.
It has also been the best, most rewarding and exciting time too.
I “fell” into photography, I took the opportunities that were presented to me and I moved forward with it. I imagined that I would end up being a manager of a retail-jewellery store, or into business training for a company that trained new employees for their own companies. I never thought that I would be where I am today.
I don’t brag about business, I don’t brag about how well business is doing, unless I am trying to express the importance of people making a booking decision. A lot of that is because I know how I got into photography, and how I became a business owner. It wasn’t something that I had dreamt about doing since I was a child. And it certainly wasn’t something I expected to be doing before I was 30! (Or EVER!)
And I think it makes me realise what I have (and what could be taken away)…
Sunday 14 August 2011
{Girl Behind The Lens} My Online Self and Me.
Things of lately have been getting to me a little bit, mainly about the online self of me when it comes to other photographers.
I am opinionated. I’m not scared to voice my opinion whether I end up being right or wrong. But I am passionate about what I do and create. I also believe in standing up for people and if someone comes across with an attitude, I wont sit back.
I remember being on one of the forums when I was starting out in photography, it was very much when I was working as a second shooter. We could post almost the SAME image, but he would get thought of highly, and I would get slated. Its not easy, but it helps grow as a photographer. It then got to the point that I then was more aware of what I did, and what I could do and my work (from clients) were more highly thought of at times as I was doing most of the studio work, but again on the forum because I wasn’t as “well known” as this other photographer, and I was younger (and a female) I started “fighting” back.
I have been “walked over” for years. And those who have read this blog know that I come from a background that I was bullied throughout the years, and suffer with depression. If you only ever know me online, you wont actually know the real me. Even my friends comment that no one fully knows me 100% which is more about a trust issue than anything.
My upbringing has brought me up to be honest, and say what I think. If you have an opinion to voice it, and not being scared to stand up for what you believe in and are passionate about.
The problem I’ve found more recently is that when I joined a couple of groups of photographers, if you add other people in who are similar, or sometimes even not similar, something that you can say, can be highly taken the wrong way. And then one person has an opinion of your online self, then it quickly becomes other peoples opinions, and before you know it, you spend more time defending yourself and trying to correct people than actually offering sound advice where possible.
I say that “A Spade is A Spade” there is no point in sugar coating things if they don’t need to be. When I am typing and replying to things on forums etc, I am doing so with limited timings. Its not like writing a blog post where I sit and take the time to type and know what I am putting, sometimes it’s as quickly as replying to the post, and then going to a client meeting, or then off to a shoot, or even replying on my phone when I cannot type a large response and need to be straight to the point.
My clients and the people who know me, know that I am helpful and honest and will answer a question to the best of my ability. If you ask me what I did wrong, what I did right, anything I will answer it as honestly as I possibly can do.
Its upsetting to me to know that my online self is seen in some forums, and by some people as an argumentative, aggressive person who goes against the grain and just disagrees with people for the fun of it.
Where as other people in the same forums see me as a honest and open person who has passion and tells it how I see it and is straight to the point.
My online self, and me, is why I’m very close to removing myself from all groups and forums. The people who are trying to break me down, are not the ones who I look up to and aspire to be like. I say Thank You to the photographers who are self-made are full-time and earn money who are honest, and friendly and open and answer any questions I may have. You are the people who keep me sane.
To the people who are trying to break me down, who have this negative view of me, if its your own opinion then that is fine, but the chances are its your opinion based on one thing I may have said, or someone may have said to you. I would challenge you to actually try and find out more about me. And who I am, and realise I am just a person at the end of it. I have been through the crap to get where I am today, and I run my own full-time business and I generally don’t have the time to spend 20 minutes typing out a well pointed out responce to a question.
We can all take things wrong as they are typed as you suddenly remove all context and tone in which things were said. If you have an opinion of someone then you will read their “type” in that tone, and therefore go straight into defensive mode. Its doable. Im not saying that I’ve not done it.
What I am saying is remember that I am a person. I'm not just what you think I am.
I am opinionated. I’m not scared to voice my opinion whether I end up being right or wrong. But I am passionate about what I do and create. I also believe in standing up for people and if someone comes across with an attitude, I wont sit back.
I remember being on one of the forums when I was starting out in photography, it was very much when I was working as a second shooter. We could post almost the SAME image, but he would get thought of highly, and I would get slated. Its not easy, but it helps grow as a photographer. It then got to the point that I then was more aware of what I did, and what I could do and my work (from clients) were more highly thought of at times as I was doing most of the studio work, but again on the forum because I wasn’t as “well known” as this other photographer, and I was younger (and a female) I started “fighting” back.
I have been “walked over” for years. And those who have read this blog know that I come from a background that I was bullied throughout the years, and suffer with depression. If you only ever know me online, you wont actually know the real me. Even my friends comment that no one fully knows me 100% which is more about a trust issue than anything.
My upbringing has brought me up to be honest, and say what I think. If you have an opinion to voice it, and not being scared to stand up for what you believe in and are passionate about.
The problem I’ve found more recently is that when I joined a couple of groups of photographers, if you add other people in who are similar, or sometimes even not similar, something that you can say, can be highly taken the wrong way. And then one person has an opinion of your online self, then it quickly becomes other peoples opinions, and before you know it, you spend more time defending yourself and trying to correct people than actually offering sound advice where possible.
I say that “A Spade is A Spade” there is no point in sugar coating things if they don’t need to be. When I am typing and replying to things on forums etc, I am doing so with limited timings. Its not like writing a blog post where I sit and take the time to type and know what I am putting, sometimes it’s as quickly as replying to the post, and then going to a client meeting, or then off to a shoot, or even replying on my phone when I cannot type a large response and need to be straight to the point.
My clients and the people who know me, know that I am helpful and honest and will answer a question to the best of my ability. If you ask me what I did wrong, what I did right, anything I will answer it as honestly as I possibly can do.
Its upsetting to me to know that my online self is seen in some forums, and by some people as an argumentative, aggressive person who goes against the grain and just disagrees with people for the fun of it.
Where as other people in the same forums see me as a honest and open person who has passion and tells it how I see it and is straight to the point.
My online self, and me, is why I’m very close to removing myself from all groups and forums. The people who are trying to break me down, are not the ones who I look up to and aspire to be like. I say Thank You to the photographers who are self-made are full-time and earn money who are honest, and friendly and open and answer any questions I may have. You are the people who keep me sane.
To the people who are trying to break me down, who have this negative view of me, if its your own opinion then that is fine, but the chances are its your opinion based on one thing I may have said, or someone may have said to you. I would challenge you to actually try and find out more about me. And who I am, and realise I am just a person at the end of it. I have been through the crap to get where I am today, and I run my own full-time business and I generally don’t have the time to spend 20 minutes typing out a well pointed out responce to a question.
We can all take things wrong as they are typed as you suddenly remove all context and tone in which things were said. If you have an opinion of someone then you will read their “type” in that tone, and therefore go straight into defensive mode. Its doable. Im not saying that I’ve not done it.
What I am saying is remember that I am a person. I'm not just what you think I am.
Tuesday 19 July 2011
{Girl Behind The Lens} What is Endometriosis?
I suppose being at home in pain and almost a full day off from the office does help when you are self employed. I’ve been snoozing for most of the afternoon and decided I would write a new {Girl Behind The Lens} Blog Post.
The pain today is due to the Endometriosis I mentioned in the first post, and someone asked what Endometriosis actually was. I wasnt going to write this blog for a little while but I decided I might as well as it is forefront in my mind!
Endometriosis UK has some fabulous details of what Endometriosis is but to give you some more information in this blog I will do
Note: I wonder how many readers will click off after reading the next line (and how many of those will be men)
Note: I wonder how many readers will click off after reading the next line (and how many of those will be men)
Endometriosis only affects women.
Following is taken from Endometriosis UK. Endometriosis is the name given to the condition where cells like the ones in the lining of the womb are found elsewhere in the body.
Every month your body goes through hormonal changes. You naturally release hormones which cause the lining of the womb to increase in preparation for a fertilised egg. If pregnancy does not occur, this lining will break down and bleed. The blood is then released from your body as a period.
Endometriosis cells react in the same way – except that they are located outside your womb.
Endometriosis is not an infection.
Endometriosis is not contagious.
Endometriosis is not cancer.
To go into business knowing I had this was a very big step for me. Like today, I am in pain and extremely tired. Ive never flaked out on a Wedding nor do I have the intention to.
On a Wedding you run on adrenaline. And whilst the adrenaline is running high its amazing. A natural euphoric high! Its better than any pain relief I have been on.
More from the website
Every month your body goes through hormonal changes. You naturally release hormones which cause the lining of the womb to increase in preparation for a fertilised egg. If pregnancy does not occur, this lining will break down and bleed. The blood is then released from your body as a period.
Endometriosis cells react in the same way – except that they are located outside your womb.
During your monthly cycle your hormones stimulate the endometriosis, causing it to grow, then break down and bleed. This internal bleeding, unlike a period, has no way of leaving the body. This leads to inflammation, pain, and the formation of scar tissue. Endometrial tissue can also be found in the ovary, where it can form cysts, called ‘chocolate cysts’ because of their appearance.
Endometriosis is not an infection.
Endometriosis is not contagious.
Endometriosis is not cancer.
To go into business knowing I had this was a very big step for me. Like today, I am in pain and extremely tired. Ive never flaked out on a Wedding nor do I have the intention to.
Now if I could just get a Wedding per day, that would be some mean feat! 365 Weddings. WOW.
More from the website
Endometriosis is most commonly found inside the pelvis, around the ovaries, the fallopian tubes, on the outside of the womb or the ligaments (which hold the womb in place). It is also found on the bowel, the bladder, and the intestines. It can grow in existing scars from previous operations. In rare cases it has been found in other parts of the body such as the skin, the eyes, the spine, the lungs and the brain.
Endometriosis affects approximately 2 million women in the UK. It can be a chronic and debilitating condition. Endometriosis can impact on a woman’s life in a number of ways which include:
Chronic pain
Fatigue/lack of energy
Depression/isolation
Problems with a couple’s sex life/relationships
An inability to conceive
Difficulty in fulfilling work and social commitments.
It used to really affect me with Work (when I worked for someone else) and going out with friends etc…
I’ve got it to a level now, after two surgeries and two courses of hormone treatments (ladies it puts you through a pseudo menopause with hot flushes and everything), that it seems to be more consistant with how it plays up and causes me pain but doesn’t make it any easier.
I’m very much of “I’m dealing with it” person, it doesn’t rule me as I wont allow it to rule me anymore (I once did) and in the end, its just part of who I am.
I have been suffering with it since 18 that I am mainly aware of but all the signs were there earlier. And I got diagnosed at 22. Turning 27 in September. It has been my life for almost 10-years.
Endometriosis is a condition I have.
Endometriosis affects approximately 2 million women in the UK. It can be a chronic and debilitating condition. Endometriosis can impact on a woman’s life in a number of ways which include:
Chronic pain
Fatigue/lack of energy
Depression/isolation
Problems with a couple’s sex life/relationships
An inability to conceive
Difficulty in fulfilling work and social commitments.
It used to really affect me with Work (when I worked for someone else) and going out with friends etc…
I’ve got it to a level now, after two surgeries and two courses of hormone treatments (ladies it puts you through a pseudo menopause with hot flushes and everything), that it seems to be more consistant with how it plays up and causes me pain but doesn’t make it any easier.
I’m very much of “I’m dealing with it” person, it doesn’t rule me as I wont allow it to rule me anymore (I once did) and in the end, its just part of who I am.
I have been suffering with it since 18 that I am mainly aware of but all the signs were there earlier. And I got diagnosed at 22. Turning 27 in September. It has been my life for almost 10-years.
Endometriosis is a condition I have.
It doesn’t define me.
Sunday 10 July 2011
{Girl Behind The Lens} When did you feel Pro? A Discussion.
Wow…I’ve been a bit quiet on the {Girl Behind The Lens} Blog Posts! Sorry Guys, lots of things have been happening and Wedding Season is in full Swing.
One of the questions that I go asked to write a blog about, or to know more about was the question of “When did you fee pro”I am a full-time self employed photographer, I run my own business and it is my only source of income. When people ask what I do I am photographer, or business owner. I never describe myself as a professional photographer.
I think the word professional photographer is banded about far too often and there is a lot of emphasis on the term. Yet it is something that there is no clear line upon and people often put too much emphasis on being a PRO.
If you look at the WIKI definition of professional then I am not a professional photographer as I have no specialised educational training in it. I’m all self taught.
But then look at Ken Rockwell who translates between Full-Time Career Professional, Full-Time Photographer, Professional Photographer and Amateur Photographer - with this definition I am a Professional Photographer. And the entire discussion that Photography is not a profession does create the image that I am therefore a Photographer, who earns 100% of my money from Photography and run my own business.
So that helps in the fact that I don’t feel “pro” I am full time but I still have things to learn. The ones who say they have learnt everything, I disagree. Every single day is a lesson. You have no idea how things are going to turn out, happen or how items are going to come into fruition. You cannot predict what is going to happen, and every situation you will deal with differently, this is where you learn. You learn from your mistakes, and situations. If you don’t learn, you don’t grow and aren’t able to take something from it.
So I am a photographer. I still don’t feel pro. I carry on with a professional attitude in my business.
So there is still the question “when did you feel professional” depending upon your terminology of the word.
I’m a photographer, that’s all that you need to know.
![]()
One of the questions that I go asked to write a blog about, or to know more about was the question of “When did you fee pro”I am a full-time self employed photographer, I run my own business and it is my only source of income. When people ask what I do I am photographer, or business owner. I never describe myself as a professional photographer.
I think the word professional photographer is banded about far too often and there is a lot of emphasis on the term. Yet it is something that there is no clear line upon and people often put too much emphasis on being a PRO.
If you look at the WIKI definition of professional then I am not a professional photographer as I have no specialised educational training in it. I’m all self taught.
But then look at Ken Rockwell who translates between Full-Time Career Professional, Full-Time Photographer, Professional Photographer and Amateur Photographer - with this definition I am a Professional Photographer. And the entire discussion that Photography is not a profession does create the image that I am therefore a Photographer, who earns 100% of my money from Photography and run my own business.
So that helps in the fact that I don’t feel “pro” I am full time but I still have things to learn. The ones who say they have learnt everything, I disagree. Every single day is a lesson. You have no idea how things are going to turn out, happen or how items are going to come into fruition. You cannot predict what is going to happen, and every situation you will deal with differently, this is where you learn. You learn from your mistakes, and situations. If you don’t learn, you don’t grow and aren’t able to take something from it.
So I am a photographer. I still don’t feel pro. I carry on with a professional attitude in my business.
So there is still the question “when did you feel professional” depending upon your terminology of the word.
I’m a photographer, that’s all that you need to know.
Sunday 26 June 2011
{Girl Behind The Lens} Journey Into Photography...Part 2
So I left you on the last proper {Girl Behind The Lens} post about the start of my Journey into photography, and how starting my Career as an Assistant Manager, and the circumstances which surrounded it kicked my career into Photography…
I remember going for the interview for the Assistant Manager Job a glorious day and I took a wrong direction. Ended up going back to the place I found after my interview. Gorgeous rapeseed field, with white fluffy clouds and beautiful blue sky….that was May and I found out that day that I had the job.
Not that long after my Boyfriend (at the time) decided that we should go back to being friends…I didn’t let it phase me. I continued being interested in photography and finding out more and more within my new job and fitting in.
In the August the (Ex) Boyfriend and I had a major argument, then my Dad had a heart attack and in the process of all this I purchased the Pentax K10D. We ended up having a coach holiday to Ireland, which was beautiful - but didn’t really replace the Med Cruise Mum, Dad and I were meant to be going on.
After our trip I joined the local Camera Club and entered some images on the night, including one that placed 18th out of 36 images. Not bad for a picture that was taken during a moving bus ride through the window with a point and shoot camera...
From this I ended as a Second Shooter, and I have to say I enjoyed my time as a Second Shooter and learnt lots about Studio work etc too. My Work Colleagues kept saying I was wasted in my job.
On 21st June 2008 - my last day as Assistant Manager, and I got a part time job to focus more on the second shooting opportunities for the more you work at it the more you get out of it.
This continued, and I shot Weddings, and lots of people and portraits in the studio, finding my style, my creativity and what I wanted to become as a photographer. Not always agreeing with people (and I will argue where needed!) and then it eventually became the big decision to go on my own…
The decision wasn’t because I didn’t like the person I was second shooting for. Wasn’t because I didn’t like my job. Wasn’t because I doubted myself…it was because I was beginning to hate it. I felt like I wasn’t allowed to shoot how I wanted to shoot (as a second shooter I know you cant!) and then I had a couple of friends getting married in 2010 who wanted me to photograph their wedding.
The last Wedding I photographed as a second shooter was September 2009. The first Wedding Fayre I did was October 2009 and my first Wedding in October 2009...and then the journey really began.
![]()
I remember going for the interview for the Assistant Manager Job a glorious day and I took a wrong direction. Ended up going back to the place I found after my interview. Gorgeous rapeseed field, with white fluffy clouds and beautiful blue sky….that was May and I found out that day that I had the job.
Not that long after my Boyfriend (at the time) decided that we should go back to being friends…I didn’t let it phase me. I continued being interested in photography and finding out more and more within my new job and fitting in.
In the August the (Ex) Boyfriend and I had a major argument, then my Dad had a heart attack and in the process of all this I purchased the Pentax K10D. We ended up having a coach holiday to Ireland, which was beautiful - but didn’t really replace the Med Cruise Mum, Dad and I were meant to be going on.
 |
| One of my favourite images taken in Ireland |
After our trip I joined the local Camera Club and entered some images on the night, including one that placed 18th out of 36 images. Not bad for a picture that was taken during a moving bus ride through the window with a point and shoot camera...
 |
| The Competition Image |
From this I ended as a Second Shooter, and I have to say I enjoyed my time as a Second Shooter and learnt lots about Studio work etc too. My Work Colleagues kept saying I was wasted in my job.
On 21st June 2008 - my last day as Assistant Manager, and I got a part time job to focus more on the second shooting opportunities for the more you work at it the more you get out of it.
 |
| My First Portrait Session with a Colleagues Grandchild. December 2007. |
This continued, and I shot Weddings, and lots of people and portraits in the studio, finding my style, my creativity and what I wanted to become as a photographer. Not always agreeing with people (and I will argue where needed!) and then it eventually became the big decision to go on my own…
 |
| This image caused discussion at the Camera Club as they believed I should have airbrushed out the dark crease on the childs head. a SEVEN WEEK OLD BABY. I argued that the reason women had such a distorted views on themselves was because some men were so flippant with the need to be "perfect" |
The decision wasn’t because I didn’t like the person I was second shooting for. Wasn’t because I didn’t like my job. Wasn’t because I doubted myself…it was because I was beginning to hate it. I felt like I wasn’t allowed to shoot how I wanted to shoot (as a second shooter I know you cant!) and then I had a couple of friends getting married in 2010 who wanted me to photograph their wedding.
 |
| The HDR Phase. I never could do it "just a bit" but it worked really well for this shot at Leeds. You Can't See Me! |
The last Wedding I photographed as a second shooter was September 2009. The first Wedding Fayre I did was October 2009 and my first Wedding in October 2009...and then the journey really began.
 |
| One of my favourite idea shots. I had this idea in my head with Andi's Triquetra and went down to take the photograph I have the unedited version too if anyone is interested in seeing it. |
Thursday 16 June 2011
{Girl Behind The Lens} The Photoshoot
Now...I do have to say I keep getting told - to learn how it is to be infront of the camera...actually BE infront of the camera....
Well...I decided to do that to get some shots for this blog - something I can use on a post by post basis, and also to help people get up some more bits and pieces.
Well..Connie came up from Lincoln, and we got chatting and did some shots etc - I hated it. Kinda warmed into it - and am OK with some of the results...(I still dont like having my photograph taken!)
So...here are a few for your viewing pleasure....be nice! It was my first time modelling, and Connie's First Time shooting in the studio - editing has been done by me!
Well...I decided to do that to get some shots for this blog - something I can use on a post by post basis, and also to help people get up some more bits and pieces.
Well..Connie came up from Lincoln, and we got chatting and did some shots etc - I hated it. Kinda warmed into it - and am OK with some of the results...(I still dont like having my photograph taken!)
So...here are a few for your viewing pleasure....be nice! It was my first time modelling, and Connie's First Time shooting in the studio - editing has been done by me!
Monday 13 June 2011
{Girl Behind The Lens} The Journey Into Photography
 |
| My 2nd Birthday Party with my Cousin. I'm the one in the Silver Wig... |
Ok…so it looks officially like Monday’s are for the main {Girl Behind The Lens} Blog Posts! I have decided. It works quite well too, because unless I have a Wedding on, Sunday’s are generally the best day for me to write them. James goes to work at 9pm and I’m home alone till now, when my parents arrive home. I was just about to start the post when they started being noisy and distracting, so brought myself upstairs to write this so that you guys can have it today!
First of all I would just like to say that I was totally overwhelmed to the first official {Girl Behind The Lens} post, so many people telling me that it was so nice to see an honest and open post. If I cannot be myself, with myself in my life, and especially within my musings, then really - when can I be myself? I have self doubts that my real self will never be good enough - but you know what…TOUGH!
A lot of people have been asking how I got in photography and really where my love of photography came from.
When I was little, I loved taking photographs, I loved looking at photographs, I loved hearing stories about what happened the times the photographs were taken. They were memories, snapshots, a moment trapped and treasured forever. They couldn’t be broken.
 |
| These three Guys, the reason I believe Pictures never change, even when the people do. We used to have "Guys Nights Out" and all through the fun, and laughs, there were some tears. All three are friends on Facebook, the one in the middle, is now one of my past clients, having done his wedding to Victoria in August last year. |
One of my favourite quotations is “pictures never change - even when the people in them do” because it is so true. No matter what goes off, or goes wrong, if you look at a photograph you are transported back to there, when it was taken, who you were with, and it sparks off a memory. This is the underlying passion for my photography, because I know how looking at older photographs makes me feel. It reminds me of the things I thought I had forgotten about, the good times. It reminds me of the sad times, the friends I no longer have. But it also reminds me of me…and how I’ve changed and where I’ve come from and to, and how I’ve grown, and developed over the time. (I promise there wont be too many puns!)
This post isn’t going to cover how I got into photography…its more going to get up to the point of getting into the photographer, its like the beginning chapter, a taster to make you want to read on.
I remember being about 3 or 4 when I had my first camera, or at least, loved taking photographs. Some of the photographs I’ve taken, probably show that I was probably younger than that when I developed the need to take photographs of Barbie and Ken against a door and posing. Maybe its just fate I should become a Wedding Photographer!
I remember being visited at home by the Headmaster of the Primary School I was going to, and hiding behind the door, with a camera. It had no film in it, but I kept jumping from behind the door - pretending to take photographs. I’m a little more stealth like now…I hope!
 |
| The scowl in the photograph should say it all. I still hate having my photograph taken now. |
If you’re reading this and there’s old photographs to accompany this entry, be happy…I’m riffling through them whilst I am also typing this entry…there could be some fun ones, some strange ones, and some obscure ones, but at the end its all about the journey, and how I am where I am today….
Ok…I totally got distracted by the photographs - I have a really big pile but going to narrow some down and get them scanned in tomorrow morning.
I never had dreams or aspirations to become a photographer, it wasn’t something that was “heard” of much. Most people became a miner, or worked in retail, or became a teacher, or a nurse. BIG aspirations. A photographer never focussed on the forefront - nor did being self employed. I wanted to be a nurse, or a teacher. I didn’t want to be a Doctor, that was too much hard work and responsibility…a nurse helped and looked after people. I remember when my Nan was in hospital, when the nurses used to wear paper hats clipped into their hair (seriously I AM only 26!) and they gave me one so I could pretend to be a nurse. We have no photographs of it, as Nan was in hospital. Now it would have been snapped with a camera phone, and therefore captured forever.
I went through school, doing relatively well in my Exam’s mostly Bs & Cs (one D in RE, the lesson I was mainly bullied in. Quite funny considering it was a Catholic School!)
I couldn’t decide what to do at College, I did think about becoming a Physics teacher. I studied, Geography, Physics, Maths and Psychology. Then I did first year maths again (it was bloody hard work!), second year physics and psychology, and first year English. I wasn’t confident. I didn’t particularly like college. I went through some bad times when I was there, met some fantastic people and lost some good friends. I planned on doing 3-years at College, to get a variety of A levels and AS Levels then go to Uni when I had decided what I wanted to do…In my 3rd Year I was studying, second year English and Georgraphy, First year Law and Media...I hated Media and it was pointless.
 |
| A scan of some of my fantastic College and Millennium Volunteer friends. We were on a night out and one Pub always took polaroids for I think £2 |
In my 3rd year of college I dropped out. I wanted to drop Media and the college said no. If I didn’t attend I would be kicked out. I told them what to do - and got a full time job within a week…
My working career started at 17 when I started college (oh to be a September baby!) and literally I’ve done lots of weird and wonderful things. I can sell you a bed, to a bathroom, to a PC or an Engagement Ring. I can change a watch battery and shorten a strap, as well as know the entire process of most Jewellery related items. I can tell you all about Pawn Broking and Pay-Day Advances, and sell you a speed loan - but that’s mainly just because I’m awesome.
 |
| Old Wembly. Barnsley VS Ipswich. Year 2000 |
What happened upon starting my Career as an Assistant Manager, and the circumstances which also surrounded it. I never knew that it would be the start of a rollercoaster ride of emotions, chances, dreams and aspirations….and the most important journey to start doing things for me. Jewellery trade looked to be the way I was going, eventually to be running my own shop (for a company) and then also doing training for the company along side that....I didnt think starting work there would be the start of the Journey to where I am now...
Wednesday 8 June 2011
{Girl Behind The Lens} Copying Vs Inspiration
Whilst I know that this blog is really about learning more about me and my business today I’m going to write a little post on what really irks me with the industry, and life in general.
I don’t know whether it’s the social media and people trying to make their feelings known to other business’ but there is a big deal at the minute of things being copied, and everyone is copying something of someone’s.
If this was an issue, then surely Pizza Hut and Pizza Express for instance were in trouble - I mean surely the business models are different but the outcome is the same - they both sell and make pizza!
But anyway, this post isn’t about pizza’s its about what it stands for.
To see someone do something and for you to think “I could do that” is inspiration. For you then to go and do that, and put your own spin on it - is to some people copying. Its not though is it? And then people think “this person is going to drive me out of business” and for why? Because they’re underselling you? No..
People sell things, and generally they either like them or they don’t. They either like the price or they don’t. If you are looking for something specific, and it’s a unique product and you only know one company that sells it - you have no choice.
James is currently looking to purchase a house and the estate agent has been terrible - however, we really like the house so we have no choice.
When I was buying my car, I went to several different people. I knew what I was looking for it was just finding the right thing for the right price.
Look how many famous artists have been “copied” and a lot very successfully. But a real piece of art will go for millions more.
What I’m getting at is unless things are patented or copyrighted you really don’t have a leg to stand on and cannot complain about being copied.
Now the copying I’m not talking about is ripping off websites word for word and stealing pictures. I’m talking crafts and people doing similar things. People could have done what you do for years, but never had the presence. People may think “that’s so unique” - people will use different products, wont spend as much on marketing, and therefore wont charge as much - its like pricing in any industry. So they’re then not copying you AND undercutting you to steal your business - they’re just doing it for them.
I looked at purchasing some gorgeous things for my friends baby, and in the end I took inspiration and made him something myself. Now - this would be seen as “copying” to some people - and its not. I took time, effort, and did it my own way. If people then get in touch and see it and want something similar I’ll do some more. I’m even thinking of doing craft fayres locally that are “cheap” but just to give me something different - am I copying? No…its just a sideline - and something that people wont have seen much around here. Will I be undercutting? Probably…because It’s then a side of the business - and not the bread and butter it’s an “option” and a “hobby”. Will it take off? Who knows…am I worried? No - because its an option not the main part of my business.
Its like photography, there are a lot of us about. We all do same/similar things. Some people complain that there are too many and its driving down the cost of the business in what we do. I’ve been going 18months and put my prices up. Twice. I price myself on a structure that works for me, that brides relate to. I’ve spoke to other people and its not worked for them. It works for me. Am I undercutting people? Some yes. But in a way not…
What I’m trying to say is if you worry too much about what is happening out there, then you’re wasting energy. If you’re a damn good business, then you’ll make it if you have the determination, and the ones that’s “copying you” will either do well, or you wont hear from them in 6months time…stick to what you do - make you your own unique selling point and no one can copy or compete with that.
Monday 6 June 2011
{Girl Behind The Lens} All About Me...
Gosh - what started as a seemingly really good idea, turned into something that now means I have to sit and write and tell people about me and what I do. And then as soon as that happens you think to yourself, what if people don’t like me, what if they think I’m a sham, what if they think that I’m not XYZ like people think I am. But then I breathe a little bit and I remember - I’m human. People buy people - a lot of my clients have become really good friends. I know about their pregnancies before most of their families and friends and they ask me questions about me and my boyfriend as they’re all friends on Facebook. But it all makes more sense and totally why I have an entire personal approach to the photography that I do - its what makes me able to tell the story a lot better.
So me…its hard to write about me, let me write about you…seriously!
I am currently 26-years old, female (obviously) and girlfriend to my wonderful boyfriend James. I still live at home with Mum and Dad, although as I write this James and I are looking at houses for him to purchase and me to move into.
I am full time self employed, a little bit crazy and I’m told that’s why most people love me.
I love to have a laugh, and have a bubbly personality, in general, and I am a self confessed flirt (once upon a time) and a definite people person. However, I can get grumpy and sad (I’ll explain more about this soon) and love a good cry as the next hormonal woman - however a lot of who I am is more about the life choices, decisions and what I have gone through to get to me.
Now everyone kept saying “I don’t want to pry - I just want to know more about you personally” so therefore, there should be no holds really barred.
Most people know I don’t take things lying down, unless I really have to. So it will be surprising for most people to know that I was bullied for about 13-years. This still makes me uncomfortable in certain circumstances and its another reason why I’m louder, and apparently funnier around certain people than I am in others. Not many people get to know the 100% bottom line that is the real me. One of my friends said I let everyone have about 95% and the other 5% is kept for me. Some people might know a different 95% than the next person but no-one fully knows me 100% - I’m not sure I agree with that.
I have Endometriosis. Now men all I have to say is….it only affects women (now they all run away screaming and covering their eyes) however it on the other hand means two things. I’m generally in pain, and on strong drugs (that’s one) and in the future I may or may not be able to have babies and may need IVF. However, it is also lovely to know that one of my Brides (Amy) has the same, very severe and has just given birth to gorgeous baby Alfie, after falling pregnant naturally. These are things to think about in years to come, and I will not be a pregnant photographer for a long while yet. As much as I have loved following Julia Boggio’s I carried a Watermelon Blog, I’m not in no rush to write my own yet.
I suffer from depression. Currently I am off medication and functioning fine, I get stressed relatively easy in the grand scheme of things, unless I am shooting a Wedding, then I’m generally chilled out. I however, have clinical depression and due to the endometriosis and long-term pain they all go hand in hand. I am lucky to know and understand when I need to be back on my medication, and have currently been 10 months medication free.
I am a good listener. And also people seem to trust me, with their deepest secrets. I could probably cause the start of World War Three with some of the things I know - but I am not one of these people who will use things against people. I’m not nasty and don’t see the point in being nasty to get revenge. But sometimes I can be a bitch. I’m human.
So now lets get onto the randomness:
I can roll my tongue.
I can touch my nose with my tongue.
I can speak random words in Maltese and Filipino
I sang at the Millennium Dome (now 02 Arena) when I was at school, as part of “Our Town Story”
Music wise, I was born in the wrong era, and should have been a 50’s/60’s child.
I can sing, when I try and need to - but can sing badly out of tune in the car but that’s allowed.
I have lots of allergies, including most antibiotics, and opiates (codeine, morphine based drugs)
I have never broken a bone in my body that I am aware of
I am my own biggest critique
I doubt myself
I get self conscious
I can be quite spiritual
I have my tarot cards read at least once every 6months
My eyes are blue, but they change colour because I'm weird like that.
I have a really wonky nose considering I've never broken it.
This has probably given people more food for thought or to ask questions etc, if you have a question you would like to ask - then please let a note with it in!
And be gentle, comments are welcome, this is my first Girl Behind The Lens post - more will be coming....until next week!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)