Professionalism is something that comes into question a lot of the time with photography. Whilst some people say you can only be a Professional Photographer if you do it full time, some suggest that you cannot even call yourself a professional photographer, because the word professional has certain connotations around its meaning (wiki it, it explains it!). How you act in your manor, is whether or not you are or are not a professional photographer. Nothing else.
Also. Manners do not cost anything, but the big photography debate of “Expensive Vs Cheap” photographers all come down to whether or not the “Cheap” are professional or not.
Surely how much anyone charges for their services as a Wedding Photographer isn’t attributed to their professionalism. Nor are how many professional bodies they are part of. Or…how many years they have been doing it.
I personally have met some rather rude photographers. Some have come to digital from film. Some have come from past generations of being photographers in the family. And some…think that manners don’t matter. Some of these are members of several professional bodies and are Award Winning and some, I feel in my opinion are just plain horrible and nasty people, or at least that’s how they come across!
The money you charge for a Wedding does not mean that you are or are not more professional than the next photographer. Also if you are part time or full time it does not mean you are any more or any less professional than the next person a long.
I do wonder that if the people who put into the arguments that “X photographer is undercutting me and stealing all my business” really need to look if that is the real reason they are getting all their business. And I feel that if the people who put as much energy into dissing said “part time and cheap photographers” as they do - then their business would be a lot better.
And then that is the other thing. Just because you are a part-time photographer generally doesn’t mean you are cheap. And just because you are an expensive photographer doesn’t mean you are full time. You are what you are. You do what you do. You get the business in. As long as your clients are happy. As long as you are getting the business. It doesn’t matter if you are full time. Part time. Half Time. Weekend Warrior, or whatever other terminology you want to call them. If you are insured. If you are earning money. If your clients are happy. AND, and this is a very big and…you are getting by. That’s all that matters.
Manners and being polite, doing your job to the best standard you can do. And people not feeling like they are getting “ripped off” then that’s great. None of that makes you a professional. It’s how you come across in your business.
I run my business full time. I am the sole photographer and chief, cook and bottle washer. I love my job. And I feel I try and have manners with my client and be as professional as I can be whilst still being friendly and keeping my clients happy.
If I was to win the lottery tomorrow…I would probably still do Wedding Photography. I’d probably happily shoot weddings at £500 a time, for a full day and an album, but limit them to 20 or even 10 per year so they were “exclusive” and why? Because I love my job. And I wouldn’t really need the money would I? It doesn’t mean that my professionalism would go down if I was charging less.
On Christmas Eve I am working for free. I ran a competition to “Win Your Wedding Photography” and the couple who won are getting married on Christmas Eve. Just because I am working for free, doesn’t mean my professionalism should be questioned in anyway. Because not only am I cheap for that wedding. I’m entirely free. ENTIRELY. Does that mean I am going to go about the wedding in an entirely unprofessional manner? No.
So the people who argue that “cheap is stealing my business” and “cheap is unprofessional” it really isn’t. Because we are all here to do a job. And the only people that matters are our clients.
Monday 3 October 2011
Friday 30 September 2011
{Girl Behind The Lens} 3-Years On, and I still cry...
This blog has been on my mind all day. I’ve come home from being with James and taking him to work (stupid night shifts) grabbed my laptop and rushed upstairs. I didn’t want to wait until it was too late to write this blog, nor did I want to write it in the company of my mum.
You see, I’m not sure I can get to the end of this blog post without any tears falling from my eyes. Or if I do it will be with a very big lump in my throat. And the reason for this? Its 3-years on Sunday (2nd October 2011) since my Nan passed away.
My Nan was fabulous. I never just said that after she died, I said that a hell of a lot before. I was born just after the miners strike of ‘84, money was tight, dad was not bringing any money in, and Mum spent a lot of time there when she was pregnant. And they had a good relationship. Nan played a heavy part in my life from being born. Granddad is disabled so we spent a lot of time there, and went on holiday as a unit of 5. Nan, Granddad, Mum, Dad and I.
When I was about 3, my nan had a deep vein thrombosis due to smoking that wasn’t apparently caught in time by her GP at the time. This resulted in her having her leg amputated and being confined to a wheelchair even though she had a prosthetic leg. I remember her being in the hospital. I remember the nurses giving me one of those paper hats they used to wear. I remember asking if they had put her leg in a black bin liner for the dustbin men (how was I meant to know what they did with it). I remember the district nurse visiting her at home, and watching and looking and telling my Nan how her wound was healing. (I was obviously not bothered at all by gore when I was younger!).
Through the years, the Wheelchair didn’t stop Nan, she would go places. Get a taxi, ask mum to take her. We all complained when people talked to her like she was stupid. She lost her leg, not her marbles. She was tenacious. She said what she thought, and if she thought you were wrong she’d tell you. And people wonder where I get it from.
My Nan taught me that life makes you a fighter. That sometimes its ok to feel a bit shit, like you think you life is going no-where. But you just need to dust yourself off and get on with it. My nan was a glass half full person.
I remember when Nan got diagnosed with Breast Cancer. Due to her weak heart, the medication she was on for her terrible arthritis they couldn’t operate. They treated it with hormones. And it shrunk it. It was manageable. But it wasn’t gone.
She was in an out of hospital, but the last time she was admitted to the hospital, we didn’t think that she would never come out. Somehow, somewhere along the line I feel cheated. Cheated that she didn’t get to see the things that she should have. Cheated that she should have seen me set up in photography and doing so well. Cheated that any kids I may have will never know her….but I’ll make sure I tell them all about her.
We went on holiday, before it she wished me happy birthday and wanted to know what I was getting etc and to have a good time. We went away for a week. Upon our return and my mums birthday some 2 weeks after mine, she wasn’t co-coherent.
The Doctors took us to onside, told us they had found a mass on her bowel, that it was more than likely Diverticulitis, it can happen when you get older. They were transferring her to the rehabilitation centre. That centre was known with the generation above her, as the place that they sent you to die. Her mum had died there. And it would seem that so would she.
We had meetings with the doctors about her rehabilitation, about when they would be moving her from a singular room to a 4-room and starting her on exercises to start her getting better. But it didn’t happen.
Mum and I were meant to be going for a weekend away to Scotland. Dad was going to Blackpool. Mum did the afternoon visit to the hospital on the Friday, and I did the Evening. I pulled a nurse to one side and asked how my Nan was because I was shocked by her deterioration from the day before (Mum had said she was fine) nothing ever prepares you for the shock, and the anger, and upset. When you find out that you have been lied to. The Nurse told me that they had argued she was too ill to move when they had moved her. She had bowel cancer. There was nothing they could do.
I remember her telling me, and not crying. I remember walking through the hospital with a lump in my throat but refusing to cry. I got into the car and broke down. Did Mum know? What if she didn’t know? How was I going to tell her that her mum was going to die. I had to tell her. I did. And then we had to tell my Granddad.
I remember the things that happened from then on it. The MacMillan Nurses, the stupid conversations we had with her about Ainsley Harriot being a white man (seriously, his roots are from white-British) to the town hall being lit up pink for breast cancer awareness month.
She was stubborn my Nan, she would do things her way or not at all. I remember once her refusing to go into one of the other nursing homes because she didn’t know anyone in there. They either sent her to the one she wanted to go to, or sent her home. Oh she got her own way she did!
She went on an End of Life Care plan. The same day I called the Funeral Director and asked what happened when she died. The nurses kept a very good eye on her. And called us at the slightest change. We rang around everyone and got people to come visit. I remember seeing my mums cousin, in her prison gear, standing there completely heartbroken. My nan held a lot of people together and touched a lot of hearts, she was a strong willed woman. God only knows!
Its been 3-years since she went, and it just feels like yesterday. My heart aches everyday, and I wish I could speak to her. I wish she could tell me what I’m doing. I wish she was here to support me. I just wish she hadn’t gone.
I would have loved her to have met James. I know she would have liked him. I know she’d be proud of what I’ve done. That we’re moving in together. That the business is doing so well that Her and Granddad supported my dreams of doing (photography as second shooter) I set up on my own one-year after she had died. The business will be two soon.
My nan had such a influence on me. She was like a mum to me. (I was closer to her than Mum, I could tell my Nan anything, where as I cant with mum, and she knows this) Loosing Nan didn’t really bring Mum and I closer, at one point it pushed us further and further apart.
I have a tattoo on my wrist that says “Everything Happens For A Reason” but I’m still searching for the reason my Nan was taken from me.
I do however know that her stubbornness, her awkwardness, her friendliness and her tenacious attitude are all attributes that I got from her.
She was an amazing woman. I just wish she was still here.
3-Years ago she went away….and time doesn’t make it any easier.
And if you are wondering. I didn’t make it to the end without any tears….
You see, I’m not sure I can get to the end of this blog post without any tears falling from my eyes. Or if I do it will be with a very big lump in my throat. And the reason for this? Its 3-years on Sunday (2nd October 2011) since my Nan passed away.
My Nan was fabulous. I never just said that after she died, I said that a hell of a lot before. I was born just after the miners strike of ‘84, money was tight, dad was not bringing any money in, and Mum spent a lot of time there when she was pregnant. And they had a good relationship. Nan played a heavy part in my life from being born. Granddad is disabled so we spent a lot of time there, and went on holiday as a unit of 5. Nan, Granddad, Mum, Dad and I.
When I was about 3, my nan had a deep vein thrombosis due to smoking that wasn’t apparently caught in time by her GP at the time. This resulted in her having her leg amputated and being confined to a wheelchair even though she had a prosthetic leg. I remember her being in the hospital. I remember the nurses giving me one of those paper hats they used to wear. I remember asking if they had put her leg in a black bin liner for the dustbin men (how was I meant to know what they did with it). I remember the district nurse visiting her at home, and watching and looking and telling my Nan how her wound was healing. (I was obviously not bothered at all by gore when I was younger!).
Through the years, the Wheelchair didn’t stop Nan, she would go places. Get a taxi, ask mum to take her. We all complained when people talked to her like she was stupid. She lost her leg, not her marbles. She was tenacious. She said what she thought, and if she thought you were wrong she’d tell you. And people wonder where I get it from.
My Nan taught me that life makes you a fighter. That sometimes its ok to feel a bit shit, like you think you life is going no-where. But you just need to dust yourself off and get on with it. My nan was a glass half full person.
I remember when Nan got diagnosed with Breast Cancer. Due to her weak heart, the medication she was on for her terrible arthritis they couldn’t operate. They treated it with hormones. And it shrunk it. It was manageable. But it wasn’t gone.
She was in an out of hospital, but the last time she was admitted to the hospital, we didn’t think that she would never come out. Somehow, somewhere along the line I feel cheated. Cheated that she didn’t get to see the things that she should have. Cheated that she should have seen me set up in photography and doing so well. Cheated that any kids I may have will never know her….but I’ll make sure I tell them all about her.
We went on holiday, before it she wished me happy birthday and wanted to know what I was getting etc and to have a good time. We went away for a week. Upon our return and my mums birthday some 2 weeks after mine, she wasn’t co-coherent.
The Doctors took us to onside, told us they had found a mass on her bowel, that it was more than likely Diverticulitis, it can happen when you get older. They were transferring her to the rehabilitation centre. That centre was known with the generation above her, as the place that they sent you to die. Her mum had died there. And it would seem that so would she.
We had meetings with the doctors about her rehabilitation, about when they would be moving her from a singular room to a 4-room and starting her on exercises to start her getting better. But it didn’t happen.
Mum and I were meant to be going for a weekend away to Scotland. Dad was going to Blackpool. Mum did the afternoon visit to the hospital on the Friday, and I did the Evening. I pulled a nurse to one side and asked how my Nan was because I was shocked by her deterioration from the day before (Mum had said she was fine) nothing ever prepares you for the shock, and the anger, and upset. When you find out that you have been lied to. The Nurse told me that they had argued she was too ill to move when they had moved her. She had bowel cancer. There was nothing they could do.
I remember her telling me, and not crying. I remember walking through the hospital with a lump in my throat but refusing to cry. I got into the car and broke down. Did Mum know? What if she didn’t know? How was I going to tell her that her mum was going to die. I had to tell her. I did. And then we had to tell my Granddad.
I remember the things that happened from then on it. The MacMillan Nurses, the stupid conversations we had with her about Ainsley Harriot being a white man (seriously, his roots are from white-British) to the town hall being lit up pink for breast cancer awareness month.
She was stubborn my Nan, she would do things her way or not at all. I remember once her refusing to go into one of the other nursing homes because she didn’t know anyone in there. They either sent her to the one she wanted to go to, or sent her home. Oh she got her own way she did!
She went on an End of Life Care plan. The same day I called the Funeral Director and asked what happened when she died. The nurses kept a very good eye on her. And called us at the slightest change. We rang around everyone and got people to come visit. I remember seeing my mums cousin, in her prison gear, standing there completely heartbroken. My nan held a lot of people together and touched a lot of hearts, she was a strong willed woman. God only knows!
Its been 3-years since she went, and it just feels like yesterday. My heart aches everyday, and I wish I could speak to her. I wish she could tell me what I’m doing. I wish she was here to support me. I just wish she hadn’t gone.
I would have loved her to have met James. I know she would have liked him. I know she’d be proud of what I’ve done. That we’re moving in together. That the business is doing so well that Her and Granddad supported my dreams of doing (photography as second shooter) I set up on my own one-year after she had died. The business will be two soon.
My nan had such a influence on me. She was like a mum to me. (I was closer to her than Mum, I could tell my Nan anything, where as I cant with mum, and she knows this) Loosing Nan didn’t really bring Mum and I closer, at one point it pushed us further and further apart.
I have a tattoo on my wrist that says “Everything Happens For A Reason” but I’m still searching for the reason my Nan was taken from me.
I do however know that her stubbornness, her awkwardness, her friendliness and her tenacious attitude are all attributes that I got from her.
She was an amazing woman. I just wish she was still here.
3-Years ago she went away….and time doesn’t make it any easier.
And if you are wondering. I didn’t make it to the end without any tears….
Thursday 29 September 2011
{Girl Behind The Lens Blog} The Baby Boom
It would seem that somewhere along the line it feels like 2011 is a Baby Boom year, not as much as say 1983/4 but somewhere along the lines.
I was discussing this last night with my Pregnant-And-9-Days-To-Go Friend, and I pointed out about there being a recession, people not having much money and staying in and creating their own fun. Whether planned or not.
Then she pointed one thing out that I hadn’t thought about. The Weather.
Earlier this year, most of the country had the Big Freeze. And Freeze it was. Stupid amounts of snow. People stranded. And 9months later, a lot of people are expecting babies. My Pregnant-And-9-Days-To-Go Friend assures me that her impending baby isn’t due to The Big Freeze, but just after it.
Then conversation, as with most people turn around to “when is it your turn” however, the people that generally do not ask this are the people who know about the Endometriosis, and the apparent affect it can have on fertility. Both my Pregnant-And-9-Days-To-Go Friend and a few of my other close friends all know what its like trying to conceive when you are faced with barriers, such as Endometriosis, PCOS and Low Sperm Count. And sometimes….the entire THREE of them hit upon the same person.
I remember growing up and being “I want my own house, to be married and have babies by the time I’m 25” it wasn’t a plan. It wasn’t a dream. It was a given. My mum married at 21 and had me 2 weeks before her 25th birthday. Surely that’s how it should be? Apparently not.
21 came and went with a boyfriend that I loved. By 22 I was single pretty much sworn off men forever. I dated. I had casual relationships and now I am with James. We are moving in together and are happy and in love. We have discussed our want of 2-Children (I’m an only child and hated it! If you are not an only child you do not realise how lonely it is). However then comes the subject of timing.
There are things to consider. I for one when setting up the business didn’t realise how little time I would have. If planned correctly and at a time I am ready, I could work a baby around the jobs that I do. But not for next year. Next year to me is too early to even think about having a baby.
We know (or at least I know) that people are going to start asking about Babies and Weddings as soon as we are living together. I am happy in the commitment that James is giving to me by us moving in together and I am in no rush to move on for babies.
With currently as I write this 26 Weddings booked in for next year, I don’t have the time, to make babies let alone have them! (Or as I’ve said before “pop them out”).
As I’ve got older my need to have a child, RIGHT NOW is not as strong as it used to be. I do want a child, that’s not something I will give up on wanting. But if someone said right this minute, I’d panic. Like HELL.
The other problem I have is the issue with the Endometriosis, and the issues that it can have on the conceiving. And the stress and pressure given by the Consultant about having a baby before they can really give anymore treatment. I mean seriously. I need to bring a life into this world, before I am ready to make myself better? If that’s professional advice I’m not sure what is.
It will happen when I’m ready. Its just hard to look at life and the people surrounding you that are all having babies and wonder…”why aren’t I there yet” then I look around at my business and the not very tidy office that surrounds me and I think. It’s because I’m too busy!
It will happen when we are ready. Whether that’s in 5-years or 15-years (latter is exaggerating!) so please don’t ask me when I plan to add my baby into the mix....
I was discussing this last night with my Pregnant-And-9-Days-To-Go Friend, and I pointed out about there being a recession, people not having much money and staying in and creating their own fun. Whether planned or not.
Then she pointed one thing out that I hadn’t thought about. The Weather.
Earlier this year, most of the country had the Big Freeze. And Freeze it was. Stupid amounts of snow. People stranded. And 9months later, a lot of people are expecting babies. My Pregnant-And-9-Days-To-Go Friend assures me that her impending baby isn’t due to The Big Freeze, but just after it.
Then conversation, as with most people turn around to “when is it your turn” however, the people that generally do not ask this are the people who know about the Endometriosis, and the apparent affect it can have on fertility. Both my Pregnant-And-9-Days-To-Go Friend and a few of my other close friends all know what its like trying to conceive when you are faced with barriers, such as Endometriosis, PCOS and Low Sperm Count. And sometimes….the entire THREE of them hit upon the same person.
I remember growing up and being “I want my own house, to be married and have babies by the time I’m 25” it wasn’t a plan. It wasn’t a dream. It was a given. My mum married at 21 and had me 2 weeks before her 25th birthday. Surely that’s how it should be? Apparently not.
21 came and went with a boyfriend that I loved. By 22 I was single pretty much sworn off men forever. I dated. I had casual relationships and now I am with James. We are moving in together and are happy and in love. We have discussed our want of 2-Children (I’m an only child and hated it! If you are not an only child you do not realise how lonely it is). However then comes the subject of timing.
There are things to consider. I for one when setting up the business didn’t realise how little time I would have. If planned correctly and at a time I am ready, I could work a baby around the jobs that I do. But not for next year. Next year to me is too early to even think about having a baby.
We know (or at least I know) that people are going to start asking about Babies and Weddings as soon as we are living together. I am happy in the commitment that James is giving to me by us moving in together and I am in no rush to move on for babies.
With currently as I write this 26 Weddings booked in for next year, I don’t have the time, to make babies let alone have them! (Or as I’ve said before “pop them out”).
As I’ve got older my need to have a child, RIGHT NOW is not as strong as it used to be. I do want a child, that’s not something I will give up on wanting. But if someone said right this minute, I’d panic. Like HELL.
The other problem I have is the issue with the Endometriosis, and the issues that it can have on the conceiving. And the stress and pressure given by the Consultant about having a baby before they can really give anymore treatment. I mean seriously. I need to bring a life into this world, before I am ready to make myself better? If that’s professional advice I’m not sure what is.
It will happen when I’m ready. Its just hard to look at life and the people surrounding you that are all having babies and wonder…”why aren’t I there yet” then I look around at my business and the not very tidy office that surrounds me and I think. It’s because I’m too busy!
It will happen when we are ready. Whether that’s in 5-years or 15-years (latter is exaggerating!) so please don’t ask me when I plan to add my baby into the mix....
Sunday 18 September 2011
{Girl Behind The Lens} Where have my friends gone?
No-one tells you how lovely being Self Employed can become. The times that you are working so many hours a day not finishing work until late, running around doing everything and trying to keep everyone happy. And who else is there to hold your hand? No-one.
Yes we all have supportive family and friends, but who really knows what its like? I’ve spoken to so many people on twitter and face book but nothing is REAL.
So many people who have sat and said “we’ll get together, you’ll have more time” when in fact I don’t. Some friends understand this, don’t get annoyed when I don’t see them for 4 weeks but they manage to steal an hour with me every now and again. Some I wont see for months but will email me religiously every day. But then there are the friends. The ones you used to see weekly. Used to text and call all the time, and suddenly you don’t have time for them anymore, and its your fault. When in fact they don’t even bother to get in touch with you.
Its that time that friends become clients and clients become friends and I love it. I just have no clear definition anymore.
I used to have a best friend (I used to have a couple) people I could run and tell everything to. And now? I have “good friends” I don’t know if its my age (i'm getting old now i'm 27) or the fact that people just grow up and move on. Grow apart and then you can suddenly just count your close friends on one hand.
Theres people I miss. I miss a lot. Mainly due to difference of opinions, or them not realising that running a business is hard. It takes a lot of time. And we don’t have the free time we used to have.
When I used to work a 9-5 (seriously how many jobs are even 9-5 anymore?) I used to have extra disposable income, I used to spend evenings with friends, I used to try and do things on a weekend. But my friends were single. I was single, they had no kids. We all have to grow change and adapt.
I look at the way I use social media. Im so sociable with my clients. And try and be with friends. They’re all on face book, twitter, blog etc. And yet I’m reduced to finding out abut their lives through this media, because I hardly see them. I miss them. I don’t hardly have any phone contact with them.
Its sad. Sad because whilst my life is going in one direction. I’m moving in with my boyfriend. I’m happy. The business is growing. Friends are getting married, having babies and suddenly everyone has different priorities and experiences. And I feel that Im missing out on A LOT. I try and make time but our calenders never are right.
The reasons I’m so lovely, are through several reasons if I listen to some not-so-close friends.
1. The Boyfriend.
Having a boyfriend instantly means inaccessible to my friends. It means that they don’t get in touch with me as much anymore as they instantly think that I’ll be too busy seeing the boyfriend. In fact I see James 2-3 hours (sometimes less) per night. I get to his. I wake him up. I cook tea. We watch TV. He showers, makes his lunch and I take him to work. He works nights. Permenantly. I don’t get to see him any other time and when I am doing Full Day Weddings, it also means I don’t get to see him. AT ALL. As he doesn’t drive, if I don’t see him and he has to catch the bus to work, he has a quick bus, that runs on the hour and takes 20 minutes, and he has the slow bus that takes 45minutes to get him to work and comes at half past. If he is working at 10pm, he has to be on the 9pm bus.
2. I know how busy you are.
I love this excuse “but I know how busy you are so that is why I don’t email/text/call” I mean seriously. Im not that busy not to answer a message. Or reply to an email. Or ring you back. I have some people (work related) that call me 3-4 times a DAY and I always answer their calls. If I don’t get I will leave a message and try and call again. If you don’t try and call me. How the HELL am I even meant to speak with you?
3. But I put it on face book!
This is another one of my favourite things. Especially when I find out something that I didn’t know. And they reply “but I put it on face book” or alternatively “did you not see it on face book” or “but you’re always on face book I thought you had seen it” Facebook, like now, is on in the background of my computer whilst I write this. I do not have any sound on the computer, as I very rarely do, and I am not looking. I have about 1500+ “friends” on face book I use it a lot for business. I don’t see every status that someone puts. If its that important, tell me in person. If you want me to know, ring me. Text me. Email me!
I mean I know its not just their fault. Ive stopped trying with people who’ve made no effort to maintain and build a relationship with me. Simple things like a text once a month, an email or even writing on my face book wall.
James has a close set of friends that he’s had throughout his life. I hardly do.
My set of friends are as follows:
Amy, Leonie, Lianne, Ryan and Tracey. Those are my close friends. And Ryan is the only one I see with any regularity. And Leonie I've known from School, but only got friends with her properly in College. Around the same time I met Tracey and Ryan. Then Amy came next then Lianne.
Yes we all have supportive family and friends, but who really knows what its like? I’ve spoken to so many people on twitter and face book but nothing is REAL.
So many people who have sat and said “we’ll get together, you’ll have more time” when in fact I don’t. Some friends understand this, don’t get annoyed when I don’t see them for 4 weeks but they manage to steal an hour with me every now and again. Some I wont see for months but will email me religiously every day. But then there are the friends. The ones you used to see weekly. Used to text and call all the time, and suddenly you don’t have time for them anymore, and its your fault. When in fact they don’t even bother to get in touch with you.
Its that time that friends become clients and clients become friends and I love it. I just have no clear definition anymore.
I used to have a best friend (I used to have a couple) people I could run and tell everything to. And now? I have “good friends” I don’t know if its my age (i'm getting old now i'm 27) or the fact that people just grow up and move on. Grow apart and then you can suddenly just count your close friends on one hand.
Theres people I miss. I miss a lot. Mainly due to difference of opinions, or them not realising that running a business is hard. It takes a lot of time. And we don’t have the free time we used to have.
When I used to work a 9-5 (seriously how many jobs are even 9-5 anymore?) I used to have extra disposable income, I used to spend evenings with friends, I used to try and do things on a weekend. But my friends were single. I was single, they had no kids. We all have to grow change and adapt.
I look at the way I use social media. Im so sociable with my clients. And try and be with friends. They’re all on face book, twitter, blog etc. And yet I’m reduced to finding out abut their lives through this media, because I hardly see them. I miss them. I don’t hardly have any phone contact with them.
Its sad. Sad because whilst my life is going in one direction. I’m moving in with my boyfriend. I’m happy. The business is growing. Friends are getting married, having babies and suddenly everyone has different priorities and experiences. And I feel that Im missing out on A LOT. I try and make time but our calenders never are right.
The reasons I’m so lovely, are through several reasons if I listen to some not-so-close friends.
1. The Boyfriend.
Having a boyfriend instantly means inaccessible to my friends. It means that they don’t get in touch with me as much anymore as they instantly think that I’ll be too busy seeing the boyfriend. In fact I see James 2-3 hours (sometimes less) per night. I get to his. I wake him up. I cook tea. We watch TV. He showers, makes his lunch and I take him to work. He works nights. Permenantly. I don’t get to see him any other time and when I am doing Full Day Weddings, it also means I don’t get to see him. AT ALL. As he doesn’t drive, if I don’t see him and he has to catch the bus to work, he has a quick bus, that runs on the hour and takes 20 minutes, and he has the slow bus that takes 45minutes to get him to work and comes at half past. If he is working at 10pm, he has to be on the 9pm bus.
2. I know how busy you are.
I love this excuse “but I know how busy you are so that is why I don’t email/text/call” I mean seriously. Im not that busy not to answer a message. Or reply to an email. Or ring you back. I have some people (work related) that call me 3-4 times a DAY and I always answer their calls. If I don’t get I will leave a message and try and call again. If you don’t try and call me. How the HELL am I even meant to speak with you?
3. But I put it on face book!
This is another one of my favourite things. Especially when I find out something that I didn’t know. And they reply “but I put it on face book” or alternatively “did you not see it on face book” or “but you’re always on face book I thought you had seen it” Facebook, like now, is on in the background of my computer whilst I write this. I do not have any sound on the computer, as I very rarely do, and I am not looking. I have about 1500+ “friends” on face book I use it a lot for business. I don’t see every status that someone puts. If its that important, tell me in person. If you want me to know, ring me. Text me. Email me!
I mean I know its not just their fault. Ive stopped trying with people who’ve made no effort to maintain and build a relationship with me. Simple things like a text once a month, an email or even writing on my face book wall.
Someone once told me that I had become a lot more ruthless since running a business. Its not that at all I just wont take as much crap as I used to do. I refuse to be walked over. Whether its expressing an opinion or removing friends from my life. (Wouldn’t it be easy if we could delete people in life like we do on face book) The friends that were all take take take ive removed from my life. I got sick of dropping everything for them. Because I did. I am, was, very much a friend orientated person….however I learnt what people can be like, that some people are selfish, and some people just want you for what you do, or who you know, and nothing other than that.
James has a close set of friends that he’s had throughout his life. I hardly do.
My set of friends are as follows:
Amy, Leonie, Lianne, Ryan and Tracey. Those are my close friends. And Ryan is the only one I see with any regularity. And Leonie I've known from School, but only got friends with her properly in College. Around the same time I met Tracey and Ryan. Then Amy came next then Lianne.
It then leads to Michelle, Catriona, Laura, Kellie, Paul… The other closer friends whom I speak with regularly, but not regular enough. Most don’t live local at all.
And then the rest of friends, which are clients that have turned into friends, or friends which have turned into clients. And people from Photography. Which I can name Hannah, Dawn and Maria who I now class as friends rather than just photography friends.
Its just hard. Soon I’m going to be running a business. Running a house. Keeping my relationship strong with James as dynamics are going to change and then try and keep friendships going.
And its so lonely…where have my friends gone?
Monday 12 September 2011
{Girl Behind The Lens} Please Like Me!
After seeing a blog post about how I use social media from Keith Evans of In Smart Company, and then seeing someone asking someone to like their page (face book reference for those who are not social media literate, but then if your not how are you even reading this haha) I decided to write this post.
Facebook, is there, to be used. To be sociable and to get people to like the work that you do. I may know you, I may know your company, but if I do not like the work, it has no relevance to me, or I don’t simply like it. I will not actually face book-like it.
Harsh I know. Take for instance my friend Joe, from KJ Photography props. She set up her page. I liked it. Because I am supporting her. She posted on her personal profile, used twitter and blog and now has her own esty shop. The more other photographers who networked saw her work and liked her the more it got people to buy her work etc. That is using social media to be good. To do well…and to grow your business. You will grow your business and get more clients by getting people who want your services.
What this is about are photographers who ask other photographers to like their page. That isn’t going to get you business. I like pages of photographers work I admire. Who I know personally (and well) and who are my competition. I generally, do not like other photographers pages, nor will I like if they ask me to. (or anyone else for that matter).
Photographers out there who keep asking people to like your page. Posting it in forums that are just for photographers and on face book groups just for photographers. You will not gain exposure to clients by doing this. You will not grow your business by doing this!
Do offers. Give referrals. Be Sociable!! Its called Social Media for a reason! I have a business card that just has my social media contacts on it. Its separate to my business card but I give them both together. Put them on the same one. Naturally and Organically grow your business.
If you are doing portraits, look on face book and the groups for “items wanted for sale in….” groups and post your work in there. Granted you may think that some of the clients in there are beneath you, but if you are growing a business pull the finger out and go searching for it! You have to make face book work for you and 50 other photographers liking your page isn’t going to do that!
Don’t be scared to run competitions (not by comments or likes though its against face book rules) don’t be scared to ask questions, get people interacting…just if you are a photographer remember who is your client base…its not photographers.
Yes I understand the need to get to so many “likes” so that you can reserve your name as I have. But…please be careful how to do this its better to get potential clients to see your work who will go “Ahhh have you seen xxxx-photographers work” rather than a bunch of photographers who wont tell anyone.
And if you want to read the blog post Keith wrote you can read it here...
Alternatively you too can like me on facebook
Monday 5 September 2011
{Girl Behind The Lens} Did you think you'd be running your business before you were 30?
Today is my birthday, I’m 27.
It seems strange that one of the questions I got asked when I started the {Girl Behind the Lens} blog was “Did you think you’d be running your own business before you were 30”.
I can safely say I didn’t think I would be running my own business. Ever.
It is not something that I aspired to be, to become my own boss, to look at possibly employing people. I thought by the time I was 30 (when I was a child it was 25 because that was “old”) that I would be married, in my own house, and have babies (yes more than one!).
I’m 27. Been running Blue Lights Photography, my own company, being my own boss, for 2-years in October.
It has been the most stressful, nerve-wracking and emotional time of my life.
It has also been the best, most rewarding and exciting time too.
I “fell” into photography, I took the opportunities that were presented to me and I moved forward with it. I imagined that I would end up being a manager of a retail-jewellery store, or into business training for a company that trained new employees for their own companies. I never thought that I would be where I am today.
I don’t brag about business, I don’t brag about how well business is doing, unless I am trying to express the importance of people making a booking decision. A lot of that is because I know how I got into photography, and how I became a business owner. It wasn’t something that I had dreamt about doing since I was a child. And it certainly wasn’t something I expected to be doing before I was 30! (Or EVER!)
And I think it makes me realise what I have (and what could be taken away)…
It seems strange that one of the questions I got asked when I started the {Girl Behind the Lens} blog was “Did you think you’d be running your own business before you were 30”.
I can safely say I didn’t think I would be running my own business. Ever.
It is not something that I aspired to be, to become my own boss, to look at possibly employing people. I thought by the time I was 30 (when I was a child it was 25 because that was “old”) that I would be married, in my own house, and have babies (yes more than one!).
I’m 27. Been running Blue Lights Photography, my own company, being my own boss, for 2-years in October.
It has been the most stressful, nerve-wracking and emotional time of my life.
It has also been the best, most rewarding and exciting time too.
I “fell” into photography, I took the opportunities that were presented to me and I moved forward with it. I imagined that I would end up being a manager of a retail-jewellery store, or into business training for a company that trained new employees for their own companies. I never thought that I would be where I am today.
I don’t brag about business, I don’t brag about how well business is doing, unless I am trying to express the importance of people making a booking decision. A lot of that is because I know how I got into photography, and how I became a business owner. It wasn’t something that I had dreamt about doing since I was a child. And it certainly wasn’t something I expected to be doing before I was 30! (Or EVER!)
And I think it makes me realise what I have (and what could be taken away)…
Sunday 14 August 2011
{Girl Behind The Lens} My Online Self and Me.
Things of lately have been getting to me a little bit, mainly about the online self of me when it comes to other photographers.
I am opinionated. I’m not scared to voice my opinion whether I end up being right or wrong. But I am passionate about what I do and create. I also believe in standing up for people and if someone comes across with an attitude, I wont sit back.
I remember being on one of the forums when I was starting out in photography, it was very much when I was working as a second shooter. We could post almost the SAME image, but he would get thought of highly, and I would get slated. Its not easy, but it helps grow as a photographer. It then got to the point that I then was more aware of what I did, and what I could do and my work (from clients) were more highly thought of at times as I was doing most of the studio work, but again on the forum because I wasn’t as “well known” as this other photographer, and I was younger (and a female) I started “fighting” back.
I have been “walked over” for years. And those who have read this blog know that I come from a background that I was bullied throughout the years, and suffer with depression. If you only ever know me online, you wont actually know the real me. Even my friends comment that no one fully knows me 100% which is more about a trust issue than anything.
My upbringing has brought me up to be honest, and say what I think. If you have an opinion to voice it, and not being scared to stand up for what you believe in and are passionate about.
The problem I’ve found more recently is that when I joined a couple of groups of photographers, if you add other people in who are similar, or sometimes even not similar, something that you can say, can be highly taken the wrong way. And then one person has an opinion of your online self, then it quickly becomes other peoples opinions, and before you know it, you spend more time defending yourself and trying to correct people than actually offering sound advice where possible.
I say that “A Spade is A Spade” there is no point in sugar coating things if they don’t need to be. When I am typing and replying to things on forums etc, I am doing so with limited timings. Its not like writing a blog post where I sit and take the time to type and know what I am putting, sometimes it’s as quickly as replying to the post, and then going to a client meeting, or then off to a shoot, or even replying on my phone when I cannot type a large response and need to be straight to the point.
My clients and the people who know me, know that I am helpful and honest and will answer a question to the best of my ability. If you ask me what I did wrong, what I did right, anything I will answer it as honestly as I possibly can do.
Its upsetting to me to know that my online self is seen in some forums, and by some people as an argumentative, aggressive person who goes against the grain and just disagrees with people for the fun of it.
Where as other people in the same forums see me as a honest and open person who has passion and tells it how I see it and is straight to the point.
My online self, and me, is why I’m very close to removing myself from all groups and forums. The people who are trying to break me down, are not the ones who I look up to and aspire to be like. I say Thank You to the photographers who are self-made are full-time and earn money who are honest, and friendly and open and answer any questions I may have. You are the people who keep me sane.
To the people who are trying to break me down, who have this negative view of me, if its your own opinion then that is fine, but the chances are its your opinion based on one thing I may have said, or someone may have said to you. I would challenge you to actually try and find out more about me. And who I am, and realise I am just a person at the end of it. I have been through the crap to get where I am today, and I run my own full-time business and I generally don’t have the time to spend 20 minutes typing out a well pointed out responce to a question.
We can all take things wrong as they are typed as you suddenly remove all context and tone in which things were said. If you have an opinion of someone then you will read their “type” in that tone, and therefore go straight into defensive mode. Its doable. Im not saying that I’ve not done it.
What I am saying is remember that I am a person. I'm not just what you think I am.
I am opinionated. I’m not scared to voice my opinion whether I end up being right or wrong. But I am passionate about what I do and create. I also believe in standing up for people and if someone comes across with an attitude, I wont sit back.
I remember being on one of the forums when I was starting out in photography, it was very much when I was working as a second shooter. We could post almost the SAME image, but he would get thought of highly, and I would get slated. Its not easy, but it helps grow as a photographer. It then got to the point that I then was more aware of what I did, and what I could do and my work (from clients) were more highly thought of at times as I was doing most of the studio work, but again on the forum because I wasn’t as “well known” as this other photographer, and I was younger (and a female) I started “fighting” back.
I have been “walked over” for years. And those who have read this blog know that I come from a background that I was bullied throughout the years, and suffer with depression. If you only ever know me online, you wont actually know the real me. Even my friends comment that no one fully knows me 100% which is more about a trust issue than anything.
My upbringing has brought me up to be honest, and say what I think. If you have an opinion to voice it, and not being scared to stand up for what you believe in and are passionate about.
The problem I’ve found more recently is that when I joined a couple of groups of photographers, if you add other people in who are similar, or sometimes even not similar, something that you can say, can be highly taken the wrong way. And then one person has an opinion of your online self, then it quickly becomes other peoples opinions, and before you know it, you spend more time defending yourself and trying to correct people than actually offering sound advice where possible.
I say that “A Spade is A Spade” there is no point in sugar coating things if they don’t need to be. When I am typing and replying to things on forums etc, I am doing so with limited timings. Its not like writing a blog post where I sit and take the time to type and know what I am putting, sometimes it’s as quickly as replying to the post, and then going to a client meeting, or then off to a shoot, or even replying on my phone when I cannot type a large response and need to be straight to the point.
My clients and the people who know me, know that I am helpful and honest and will answer a question to the best of my ability. If you ask me what I did wrong, what I did right, anything I will answer it as honestly as I possibly can do.
Its upsetting to me to know that my online self is seen in some forums, and by some people as an argumentative, aggressive person who goes against the grain and just disagrees with people for the fun of it.
Where as other people in the same forums see me as a honest and open person who has passion and tells it how I see it and is straight to the point.
My online self, and me, is why I’m very close to removing myself from all groups and forums. The people who are trying to break me down, are not the ones who I look up to and aspire to be like. I say Thank You to the photographers who are self-made are full-time and earn money who are honest, and friendly and open and answer any questions I may have. You are the people who keep me sane.
To the people who are trying to break me down, who have this negative view of me, if its your own opinion then that is fine, but the chances are its your opinion based on one thing I may have said, or someone may have said to you. I would challenge you to actually try and find out more about me. And who I am, and realise I am just a person at the end of it. I have been through the crap to get where I am today, and I run my own full-time business and I generally don’t have the time to spend 20 minutes typing out a well pointed out responce to a question.
We can all take things wrong as they are typed as you suddenly remove all context and tone in which things were said. If you have an opinion of someone then you will read their “type” in that tone, and therefore go straight into defensive mode. Its doable. Im not saying that I’ve not done it.
What I am saying is remember that I am a person. I'm not just what you think I am.
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