{Girl Behind The Lens} My Online Self and Me.

Things of lately have been getting to me a little bit, mainly about the online self of me when it comes to other photographers.

I am opinionated. I’m not scared to voice my opinion whether I end up being right or wrong. But I am passionate about what I do and create. I also believe in standing up for people and if someone comes across with an attitude, I wont sit back.

I remember being on one of the forums when I was starting out in photography, it was very much when I was working as a second shooter. We could post almost the SAME image, but he would get thought of highly, and I would get slated. Its not easy, but it helps grow as a photographer. It then got to the point that I then was more aware of what I did, and what I could do and my work (from clients) were more highly thought of at times as I was doing most of the studio work, but again on the forum because I wasn’t as “well known” as this other photographer, and I was younger (and a female) I started “fighting” back.

I have been “walked over” for years. And those who have read this blog know that I come from a background that I was bullied throughout the years, and suffer with depression. If you only ever know me online, you wont actually know the real me. Even my friends comment that no one fully knows me 100% which is more about a trust issue than anything.

My upbringing has brought me up to be honest, and say what I think. If you have an opinion to voice it, and not being scared to stand up for what you believe in and are passionate about.

The problem I’ve found more recently is that when I joined a couple of groups of photographers, if you add other people in who are similar, or sometimes even not similar, something that you can say, can be highly taken the wrong way. And then one person has an opinion of your online self, then it quickly becomes other peoples opinions, and before you know it, you spend more time defending yourself and trying to correct people than actually offering sound advice where possible.
 
I say that “A Spade is A Spade” there is no point in sugar coating things if they don’t need to be. When I am typing and replying to things on forums etc, I am doing so with limited timings. Its not like writing a blog post where I sit and take the time to type and know what I am putting, sometimes it’s as quickly as replying to the post, and then going to a client meeting, or then off to a shoot, or even replying on my phone when I cannot type a large response and need to be straight to the point.

My clients and the people who know me, know that I am helpful and honest and will answer a question to the best of my ability. If you ask me what I did wrong, what I did right, anything I will answer it as honestly as I possibly can do.

Its upsetting to me to know that my online self is seen in some forums, and by some people as an argumentative, aggressive person who goes against the grain and just disagrees with people for the fun of it.

Where as other people in the same forums see me as a honest and open person who has passion and tells it how I see it and is straight to the point.

My online self, and me, is why I’m very close to removing myself from all groups and forums. The people who are trying to break me down, are not the ones who I look up to and aspire to be like. I say Thank You to the photographers who are self-made are full-time and earn money who are honest, and friendly and open and answer any questions I may have. You are the people who keep me sane.

To the people who are trying to break me down, who have this negative view of me, if its your own opinion then that is fine, but the chances are its your opinion based on one thing I may have said, or someone may have said to you. I would challenge you to actually try and find out more about me. And who I am, and realise I am just a person at the end of it. I have been through the crap to get where I am today, and I run my own full-time business and I generally don’t have the time to spend 20 minutes typing out a well pointed out responce to a question.

We can all take things wrong as they are typed as you suddenly remove all context and tone in which things were said. If you have an opinion of someone then you will read their “type” in that tone, and therefore go straight into defensive mode. Its doable. Im not saying that I’ve not done it.

What I am saying is remember that I am a person. I'm not just what you think I am.

 　
　

{Girl Behind The Lens} When did you feel Pro? A Discussion.

Wow…I’ve been a bit quiet on the {Girl Behind The Lens} Blog Posts! Sorry Guys, lots of things have been happening and Wedding Season is in full Swing.

One of the questions that I go asked to write a blog about, or to know more about was the question of “When did you fee pro”I am a full-time self employed photographer, I run my own business and it is my only source of income. When people ask what I do I am photographer, or business owner. I never describe myself as a professional photographer.

I think the word professional photographer is banded about far too often and there is a lot of emphasis on the term. Yet it is something that there is no clear line upon and people often put too much emphasis on being a PRO.

If you look at the WIKI definition of professional then I am not a professional photographer as I have no specialised educational training in it. I’m all self taught.


But then look at Ken Rockwell who translates between Full-Time Career Professional, Full-Time Photographer, Professional Photographer and Amateur Photographer - with this definition I am a Professional Photographer. And the entire discussion that Photography is not a profession does create the image that I am therefore a Photographer, who earns 100% of my money from Photography and run my own business.

So that helps in the fact that I don’t feel “pro” I am full time but I still have things to learn. The ones who say they have learnt everything, I disagree. Every single day is a lesson. You have no idea how things are going to turn out, happen or how items are going to come into fruition. You cannot predict what is going to happen, and every situation you will deal with differently, this is where you learn. You learn from your mistakes, and situations. If you don’t learn, you don’t grow and aren’t able to take something from it.


So I am a photographer. I still don’t feel pro. I carry on with a professional attitude in my business.

So there is still the question “when did you feel professional” depending upon your terminology of the word.

I’m a photographer, that’s all that you need to know.

{Girl Behind The Lens} Copying Vs Inspiration

Whilst I know that this blog is really about learning more about me and my business today I’m going to write a little post on what really irks me with the industry, and life in general.

I don’t know whether it’s the social media and people trying to make their feelings known to other business’ but there is a big deal at the minute of things being copied, and everyone is copying something of someone’s.
If this was an issue, then surely Pizza Hut and Pizza Express for instance were in trouble - I mean surely the business models are different but the outcome is the same - they both sell and make pizza!

But anyway, this post isn’t about pizza’s its about what it stands for.

To see someone do something and for you to think “I could do that” is inspiration. For you then to go and do that, and put your own spin on it - is to some people copying. Its not though is it? And then people think “this person is going to drive me out of business” and for why? Because they’re underselling you? No..

People sell things, and generally they either like them or they don’t. They either like the price or they don’t. If you are looking for something specific, and it’s a unique product and you only know one company that sells it - you have no choice.

James is currently looking to purchase a house and the estate agent has been terrible - however, we really like the house so we have no choice.

When I was buying my car, I went to several different people. I knew what I was looking for it was just finding the right thing for the right price.

Look how many famous artists have been “copied” and a lot very successfully. But a real piece of art will go for millions more.

What I’m getting at is unless things are patented or copyrighted you really don’t have a leg to stand on and cannot complain about being copied.

Now the copying I’m not talking about is ripping off websites word for word and stealing pictures. I’m talking crafts and people doing similar things. People could have done what you do for years, but never had the presence. People may think “that’s so unique” - people will use different products, wont spend as much on marketing, and therefore wont charge as much - its like pricing in any industry. So they’re then not copying you AND undercutting you to steal your business - they’re just doing it for them.

I looked at purchasing some gorgeous things for my friends baby, and in the end I took inspiration and made him something myself. Now - this would be seen as “copying” to some people - and its not. I took time, effort, and did it my own way. If people then get in touch and see it and want something similar I’ll do some more. I’m even thinking of doing craft fayres locally that are “cheap” but just to give me something different - am I copying? No…its just a sideline - and something that people wont have seen much around here. Will I be undercutting? Probably…because It’s then a side of the business - and not the bread and butter it’s an “option” and a “hobby”. Will it take off? Who knows…am I worried? No - because its an option not the main part of my business.

Its like photography, there are a lot of us about. We all do same/similar things. Some people complain that there are too many and its driving down the cost of the business in what we do. I’ve been going 18months and put my prices up. Twice. I price myself on a structure that works for me, that brides relate to. I’ve spoke to other people and its not worked for them. It works for me. Am I undercutting people? Some yes. But in a way not…

What I’m trying to say is if you worry too much about what is happening out there, then you’re wasting energy. If you’re a damn good business, then you’ll make it if you have the determination, and the ones that’s “copying you” will either do well, or you wont hear from them in 6months time…stick to what you do - make you your own unique selling point and no one can copy or compete with that.

{Girl Behind The Lens} All About Me...

Gosh - what started as a seemingly really good idea, turned into something that now means I have to sit and write and tell people about me and what I do. And then as soon as that happens you think to yourself, what if people don’t like me, what if they think I’m a sham, what if they think that I’m not XYZ like people think I am. But then I breathe a little bit and I remember - I’m human. People buy people - a lot of my clients have become really good friends. I know about their pregnancies before most of their families and friends and they ask me questions about me and my boyfriend as they’re all friends on Facebook. But it all makes more sense and totally why I have an entire personal approach to the photography that I do - its what makes me able to tell the story a lot better.

So me…its hard to write about me, let me write about you…seriously!

I am currently 26-years old, female (obviously) and girlfriend to my wonderful boyfriend James. I still live at home with Mum and Dad, although as I write this James and I are looking at houses for him to purchase and me to move into.

I am full time self employed, a little bit crazy and I’m told that’s why most people love me.

I love to have a laugh, and have a bubbly personality, in general, and I am a self confessed flirt (once upon a time) and a definite people person. However, I can get grumpy and sad (I’ll explain more about this soon) and love a good cry as the next hormonal woman - however a lot of who I am is more about the life choices, decisions and what I have gone through to get to me.

Now everyone kept saying “I don’t want to pry - I just want to know more about you personally” so therefore, there should be no holds really barred.

Most people know I don’t take things lying down, unless I really have to. So it will be surprising for most people to know that I was bullied for about 13-years. This still makes me uncomfortable in certain circumstances and its another reason why I’m louder, and apparently funnier around certain people than I am in others. Not many people get to know the 100% bottom line that is the real me. One of my friends said I let everyone have about 95% and the other 5% is kept for me. Some people might know a different 95% than the next person but no-one fully knows me 100% - I’m not sure I agree with that.

I have Endometriosis. Now men all I have to say is….it only affects women (now they all run away screaming and covering their eyes) however it on the other hand means two things. I’m generally in pain, and on strong drugs (that’s one) and in the future I may or may not be able to have babies and may need IVF. However, it is also lovely to know that one of my Brides (Amy) has the same, very severe and has just given birth to gorgeous baby Alfie, after falling pregnant naturally. These are things to think about in years to come, and I will not be a pregnant photographer for a long while yet. As much as I have loved following Julia Boggio’s I carried a Watermelon Blog, I’m not in no rush to write my own yet.

I suffer from depression. Currently I am off medication and functioning fine, I get stressed relatively easy in the grand scheme of things, unless I am shooting a Wedding, then I’m generally chilled out. I however, have clinical depression and due to the endometriosis and long-term pain they all go hand in hand. I am lucky to know and understand when I need to be back on my medication, and have currently been 10 months medication free.

I am a good listener. And also people seem to trust me, with their deepest secrets. I could probably cause the start of World War Three with some of the things I know - but I am not one of these people who will use things against people. I’m not nasty and don’t see the point in being nasty to get revenge. But sometimes I can be a bitch. I’m human.

So now lets get onto the randomness:

I can roll my tongue.
I can touch my nose with my tongue.
I can speak random words in Maltese and Filipino
I sang at the Millennium Dome (now 02 Arena) when I was at school, as part of “Our Town Story”
Music wise, I was born in the wrong era, and should have been a 50’s/60’s child.
I can sing, when I try and need to - but can sing badly out of tune in the car but that’s allowed.
I have lots of allergies, including most antibiotics, and opiates (codeine, morphine based drugs)
I have never broken a bone in my body that I am aware of
I am my own biggest critique
I doubt myself
I get self conscious
I can be quite spiritual
I have my tarot cards read at least once every 6months
My eyes are blue, but they change colour because I'm weird like that.
I have a really wonky nose considering I've never broken it.

This has probably given people more food for thought or to ask questions etc, if you have a question you would like to ask - then please let a note with it in!

And be gentle, comments are welcome, this is my first Girl Behind The Lens post - more will be coming....until next week!