I am opinionated. I’m not scared to voice my opinion whether I end up being right or wrong. But I am passionate about what I do and create. I also believe in standing up for people and if someone comes across with an attitude, I wont sit back.
I remember being on one of the forums when I was starting out in photography, it was very much when I was working as a second shooter. We could post almost the SAME image, but he would get thought of highly, and I would get slated. Its not easy, but it helps grow as a photographer. It then got to the point that I then was more aware of what I did, and what I could do and my work (from clients) were more highly thought of at times as I was doing most of the studio work, but again on the forum because I wasn’t as “well known” as this other photographer, and I was younger (and a female) I started “fighting” back.
I have been “walked over” for years. And those who have read this blog know that I come from a background that I was bullied throughout the years, and suffer with depression. If you only ever know me online, you wont actually know the real me. Even my friends comment that no one fully knows me 100% which is more about a trust issue than anything.
My upbringing has brought me up to be honest, and say what I think. If you have an opinion to voice it, and not being scared to stand up for what you believe in and are passionate about.
The problem I’ve found more recently is that when I joined a couple of groups of photographers, if you add other people in who are similar, or sometimes even not similar, something that you can say, can be highly taken the wrong way. And then one person has an opinion of your online self, then it quickly becomes other peoples opinions, and before you know it, you spend more time defending yourself and trying to correct people than actually offering sound advice where possible.
I say that “A Spade is A Spade” there is no point in sugar coating things if they don’t need to be. When I am typing and replying to things on forums etc, I am doing so with limited timings. Its not like writing a blog post where I sit and take the time to type and know what I am putting, sometimes it’s as quickly as replying to the post, and then going to a client meeting, or then off to a shoot, or even replying on my phone when I cannot type a large response and need to be straight to the point.
My clients and the people who know me, know that I am helpful and honest and will answer a question to the best of my ability. If you ask me what I did wrong, what I did right, anything I will answer it as honestly as I possibly can do.
Its upsetting to me to know that my online self is seen in some forums, and by some people as an argumentative, aggressive person who goes against the grain and just disagrees with people for the fun of it.
Where as other people in the same forums see me as a honest and open person who has passion and tells it how I see it and is straight to the point.
My online self, and me, is why I’m very close to removing myself from all groups and forums. The people who are trying to break me down, are not the ones who I look up to and aspire to be like. I say Thank You to the photographers who are self-made are full-time and earn money who are honest, and friendly and open and answer any questions I may have. You are the people who keep me sane.
To the people who are trying to break me down, who have this negative view of me, if its your own opinion then that is fine, but the chances are its your opinion based on one thing I may have said, or someone may have said to you. I would challenge you to actually try and find out more about me. And who I am, and realise I am just a person at the end of it. I have been through the crap to get where I am today, and I run my own full-time business and I generally don’t have the time to spend 20 minutes typing out a well pointed out responce to a question.
We can all take things wrong as they are typed as you suddenly remove all context and tone in which things were said. If you have an opinion of someone then you will read their “type” in that tone, and therefore go straight into defensive mode. Its doable. Im not saying that I’ve not done it.
What I am saying is remember that I am a person. I'm not just what you think I am.
